The Adventures of Team AGES
by Sgt. Sporky
Summary: Join team AGES (pronounced Aegis) on their wonderful adventures in the day-to-day lives of semi-average Beacon students! See Alex, Gilligan, Elwood and Sierra fight, love, laugh, learn, and generally be foolish! Obviously OC-centered, and primarily slice-of-life insanity/silliness. Sometimes serious. T for language, violence, and crude humor/suggestive themes.
1. Introduction to Alex

_**A/N: Well, here we are- a RWBY multichapter fic! I'll probably be doing it mostly in the form of drabbles, and it will have a continuity but with less "grand main story" and more "slice of life" things. As said in **__**t**__**he summary, this will be primarily OC-centered, and is going to be more about day-to-day life at Beacon, for closer-to-average students. That said, there will be action and major development or revelations on occasion, and these first four chapters are liable to contain action scenes, as they are not only an introduction to the characters, but also to **__**some of **__**their abilities as huntsmen and huntresses. With all that out of the way, let's enjoy the show, shall we?**_

_**§SS§**_

In. Out. In. Out. Up and down, the sights moved as he watched the dust shop. It was a quiet night in a quiet area, but he'd heard tell from a friend of a friend that this place might be robbed tonight by a notorious thug called Torchwood, or some such thing. _What was his first name again? Greek? Something stupid like that. _Regardless of the man's name, he intended to stop him. Nobody needed that much dust unless they were doing something big, and the criminal in question had been on a spree, and was clearly hoarding it- if there was black market dust, he'd have heard rumors at least.

Alex Klein looked too pudgy to be a huntsman in the making. His face and belly were round, though the latter wasn't so evident in his prone position on the roof of the opposite building. He seemed too cheery, even jolly, but the weapon in his hands could leave little doubt concerning his occupation. It was a sleek armament, a black-and-silver sniper rifle for the moment, though it had the transforming ability common to such weapons and could become a long-bladed, long-handled spear at a moment's notice. He adjusted his hold on the pistol grip, and dug the butt a little more firmly into his shoulder. When he took a look through the scope mounted over his iron sights, he realized that this could be a far more interesting night than expected. In that shop, he spied a figure in a red hood, and didn't need to guess twice about who it was. He'd heard tales- he heard tales of many things, but in her case, the tales almost seemed unbelievable. That hood could only belong to Ruby Rose, the little reaper he'd been hearing about. If the rumors spread by her elder sister's acquaintances were to be believed, then Ruby rivaled if not outstripped her blond sibling in ability, and to rival Yang Xiao Long was no mean feat.

Alex began to think he wouldn't have to wait long to confirm the whispers he heard when he saw a group of suited men enter the shop, and he settled in to watch, excited by the idea of new information.

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, he vacated his rooftop post, satisfied with what he'd seen. If not for the mysterious dust mage in the aircraft, the little reaper would have destroyed the criminal. However, he thought Ruby fortunate for the intervention of the elder huntress who'd become involved, believing she would have gotten herself killed given the circumstances. It seemed to him that he may have a valuable new friend and ally later on, if he played his cards right.

To celebrate the potential gains, he decided he'd go to one of the city's many late night cafés for some fancy people coffee with the last few lein in his wallet. But, him being him, his plans were quickly derailed.

"We saw you on that roof," said one of the suited thugs who'd come upon him on he empty street, unsheathing his weapon. "Not much we can do about the girl, but we can't let you go."

"Aw, really, fellas? Can't we talk about this?" Alex asked, pulling his rifle-turned-spear from his back and running a hand over its black blade. "Didn't you see what happened to that group of your buddies when they figured it was smart to mess with a huntress-to-be? Don't make me mess up those suits, they're too nice."

The thug's two companions drew their own blades, and started fanning out to flank him while the first advanced on him. He sighed, unhappy to have to fight up close. He wanted this over with now.

He decided to take the first swing, smacking the central thug in the face with the spear's shaft and taking the suited goon's moment of vulnerability to flip the weapon into a backhand grip and drive it into his kneecap, twisting and eliciting a shriek of pain from the unfortunate man, pulling the weapon out and letting him collapse just in time to step away from strikes by the other two.

He took one's moment of recovery from a missed swing to slam him in the gut with the the shaft, doubling him over and then corking him over the head with the butt hard enough to knock him unconscious. The other managed to score a nick on the boy's bare forearm, and paid for it with the hand he used to do it when the pudgy future huntsman took the long, sharp blade of his spear through the attached wrist, eliciting another scream. Alex leaned down to the unconscious one, and took his scroll from his pocket, dialing up emergency services with it and leaving it on its owner, walking away as the dispatcher picked up.

He really needed that coffee now.

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, he sat in a chair in the 24/7 café he so loved, sipping at some coffee concoction he hardly knew the name of, which he appreciated greatly for its taste but didn't think of as quite being worth what he'd paid for it. His aura had since healed his wound, though it still stung and itched. The open old olive coat he wore, faded and smelling of wood smoke, with its many pockets and its rolled up sleeves, flapped in the slight breeze as someone opened the door to step outside.

It was a fine café, and a fine place to hear things. People from many walks of life took to the little coffee bar, from the rich folk wanting their exotic tea blends to the poor folk looking for the surprisingly cheap standard coffee, and of course people like him, right in the middle of the two, buying his medium-priced drinks and listening to the world around him. With such a variety of customers, it ought come as no surprise that a variety of interesting conversations were to be had and overheard in that place. A new gang war in the slums, popular girls at school supposedly breaking up with their boyfriends. White Fang meeting places, new book series or bands. It seemed like every single piece of news in the city passed through this place at some time or another, and it could pay surprisingly well to sit down and have a drink.

Information would never lose its position as a commodity, he'd decided long ago. Unfortunately, tonight was a dry night. The most interesting thing he heard was a creative new combination of foul words when a barista broke the espresso machine. On the upside, he'd had his coffee.

And so, with his daily dose in his belly, he picked up his spear and walked out the door, humming tunelessly as he went up the road and headed home, his head filled with thoughts of his upcoming year at Beacon, trying to determine whether the co-ed dorms would be a glorious blessing or a hateful curse. He would later find out it was both.

He went quietly to bed with these thoughts, removing his boots and wiggling the toes on his oversized feet as he slid into the covers, and slept.


	2. Introduction to Gilligan

_**A/N: A friendly reminder that we're not yet into the main body of the story and that we'll be there after two more intro chapters! Also a reminder to read and review, and that, like you, I can only write a chapter so often, and updates may be horribly irregular- sometimes three chapters in a day, sometimes once or twice a month. I apologize in advance for irregularities. Now enjoy!**_

_**§SS§**_

Gilligan Henshaw snorted at the waitress at the little restaurant he'd gone to as she brought his food. Not so much as a polite greeting or a thank-you. She was a thing to him, after all.

She hadn't seemed bright, but at least his food was what he'd ordered. He chewed the tofu-steak slowly, savoring the taste, drinking from a bottle of water that cost ten times what it was worth just to show off that he could afford it.

Don't misunderstand- Gilligan came from a dirt-poor family. But that didn't mean he had to be dirt poor. _And it doesn't mean I have to drive myself broke bailing out those stupid people. It's their own damn fault._

He'd made himself a respectable living, working hard as a huntsman-to-be, slaying monster after monster and selling whatever he could- beowolf pelts, deathstalker venom, anything of value. Boartusk teeth were in high demand as well, renowned as a medium for art.

Even at the young age of twelve, when he'd first forged his weapons, he'd been talented, able to afford to live on his own with the money he made selling the spoils of the war on grimm, in a comfortable little apartment with lots of food to spare- though he'd be moving out of it for a Beacon dorm soon.

He was proud of his ability. Proud of himself. He would be a full-fledged, government-paid huntsman soon enough.

He shifted his long, black duster coat, his weapons clanking beneath it. Admittedly, he'd stolen their concept from another he'd seen, but she'd had the right idea- all he'd had to do was make his improvements and add personal touches. But regardless of whose idea it was, he liked his weapons. They served him well, as good tools ought to. Nice and simple, too, as the best tools always are. They were simply a pair of long, very broad knives with pistol barrels hidden in the bottom portion of the blade, uncovered with a simple flick of a switch, with triggers hidden in the hilts and a hole in the blade for his thumb to stay in while he was using the ranged function.

He adjusted the sheriff's hat on his head- yes, really- and took another bite. A few passersby looked miffed that he couldn't be bothered to remove his hat to dine. He literally could not care less. He didn't feel he should be bound by arbitrary courtesy.

He scratched his unshaven face a little. He'd been growing beard hair since he was fourteen, and rarely bothered to trim or shave it. Because who cared?

His music blared in his ears, an electronic beat with heavy bass that could be heard clearly and obnoxiously three tables over. He bobbed his head in time with it as he ate, tapping a toe on the floor and adjusting his food-stained shirt, releasing the smell of potato chip dust. He was not the most popular patron.

_I don't really give a fuck. Who cares what these society-chained idiots think?_

He would be finished his meal soon. He wouldn't have to deal with them much longer. Suddenly a tap on his shoulder. He looked up in annoyance to find a man not much older than him. He flapped his gums, but Gilligan couldn't hear. Just the way he liked it.

Suddenly, one bud was rudely yanked from his ear.

"Hey, man, can you turn that down? Please? My girlfriend and I aren't exactly fans of-"

And then the man was cut off, because Gilligan jammed the bud back in his ear. Not for long, though. This time, both buds were yanked out. "Hey, asshole, what's your probl- _OOF!"_

Gilligan had landed a square punch in his gut, doubling him over. In response, the restaurant security guard- a real thing in Vale, thanks to imbalanced huntsmen and huntresses- rushed over, drawing his baton. "HEY, you can't do that!"

Gilligan groaned, knowing he was in trouble. _What a fucking pain. _He drew quickly, driving the pommel of a knife into the guard's chest and knocking the wind out of him, not wanting to create a serious injury and get in further trouble. But the guard kept coming, forcing him to turn the sharper edge. The next maneuvers took the baton from the rent-a-cop's hand halfway through the next swing, and lacerated his fingers and wrists in the process. Gilligan moved fast and struck hard, knocking the guard over and walking out before further trouble was caused, grumpily taking his water while someone patched the guard up.

His meal ruined, Gilligan grumbled and cursed the whole way back to his apartment, sparsely furnished but for the many single-color paintings hanging in frames. _Ah, my avant-garde art. Such a relief to look at. Lein well spent._

He brewed himself a cup of herbal tea, leaving the bag and spoon on the counter. He needed to relax. Gradually, he fell asleep on his couch, head filled with dreams of glory as a huntsman.


	3. Introduction to Elwood

Elwood Agani seemed perplexed by the situation before him. This was probably because Elwood was always perplexed. He was a big boy, strong and handsome, and blessed with a heart of gold. On the downside? He was also blessed with the brains of a goldfish.

"What, you wanna join? The more the merrier," the man in the alley snickered, while the woman he'd cornered whimpered. "Otherwise, scram, boy."

Elwood cocked his handsome head and looked on with his big, blue eyes. He could tell something wasn't right, but he wasn't sure what was going on. The woman managed a squeak for help- a mouse faunus, and pretty. Slowly, the cogs in the handsome idiot's mind turned, and he came to the conclusion that the lady found this man unpleasant. _I should do something. Mama always told me I was big and strong so I could help people, and I'd rather believe her than Papa._

"Maybe you should leave her alone, mister," the boy said. "I don't think she likes you."

The smelly fellow in the alley had his turn to cock his head now. This boy had seemed smart, tall and blond with his bright blue eyes and nice clothing, but he was slowly coming to the conclusion that the young man confronting him was bright like night. And he laughed.

"Aw, go on your way, lad, it's all fine," he said. "We'll sort it out."

Elwood's eyes narrowed. He wasn't smart, but he knew when people were lying to him. "I really don't think that's true, mister. You ought to go."

The man snarled at him, and reached into his coat. He pulled a short knife to bear, and even Elwood could recognize a threat. He reached under his sports jacket and retrieved a short-barreled stockless shotgun, green and gold in color- obviously a huntsman's weapon. "You should put the knife down, mister."

Clearly, this man had lost his nerve, because "mister" hadn't left the boy's mouth before he was gone. The mouse-lady collapsed against the wall, shaking. _Remember, Elwood, you're big and strong so you can help._

"Miss? You want some help?" He took a knee next to her, and at a glance, it was clear to the young man that she was hurt- her bare arms had bruises, and some blood was leaking from her lips, just a trickle, probably from broken skin on the inside of her mouth. "I'm gonna help you."

The boy was gifted with a semblance that he loved to use- healing. Not only himself, but others as well. Neighborhood children had always loved him, because he was always there to knit their knees back together. Now, he would fix her arms and her mouth. She flinched when he laid his hands on her shoulders, but she managed to realize his good intentions.

Slowly, he began to channel his aura. It came naturally, making him one of the lucky few. Slowly, her bruises faded away, and the pain in her mouth began to vanish. She patted herself all over, amazed. "Th- thank you," she squeaked, her buck teeth exposed and her big, round ears twitching.

"You're welcome, miss. You want to go home? I can walk you home."

The woman looked confused but grateful, stuttering out another thanks, and Elwood helped her stand. He escorted her back to her humble home, and found that she insisted on keeping him for tea. He wasn't sure why- in his mind, he hadn't done anything really special. It was only natural to help people whenever you could, wasn't it?

Once inside and with his shoes off, he insisted on helping, no matter how much the lady said he didn't have to. He saw that she had many children for such a small space, and wished he could offer them someplace bigger. Perhaps a few months ago, he could have. His family had a great deal of money, but once they'd found out he was going to Beacon whether they liked it or not... Well, they hadn't liked it. In fact, they'd liked it so little that he'd lost his keys to the manse and his access to the family's bank accounts. _But that's not important, is it? At least I did something for them, right?_

Elwood decided, once there wasn't anything else he could do, to sit and play with the children. The eldest was older even than he was, more a caretaker for the others than anything, and the youngest but a babe. Elwood had always loved children- he found that they were kindhearted and helpful.

The living room was something of a mess, but only in the way that was natural with so many young ones. The television was on, some colorful children's show about a group of horse fauni trying to find some magical artefacts and learn life lessons on the way.

The children, however, were captivated with this kind human. Most of the humans they'd known had only ever been cruel to them, teasing them about their ears and teeth or shoving them aside and refusing them service in shops. And yet here sat this one, making up stories for their dolls and helping set up racing tracks for their little toy cars.

By the time their mother returned to the living room bearing tea, she was also bearing dinner. Elwood tried to refuse the food, but the whole family insisted, so he settled for taking a small amount, or as little as they'd allow, knowing they needed it more than he did.

It was a fine meal, and fine conversation. But eventually, Elwood had to leave. The children protested, but it was his turn to insist. It was getting late, and he had to go to bed soon- he explained that he had a big day coming up, his initiation into Beacon. The children's eyes grew wider as he politely bid each person farewell individually, and left.

By the time he was finally out the door, it was late at night, already well past the time he'd have liked to be in bed, according to his watch. _Oh well, _he thought. _I'll be a little tired tomorrow, but I got to make people happy today._

And that was the thought he went to bed with, curled up under the covers in the small apartment- he'd been living off the lein that had been in his wallet when he'd been cut off, and it had been a considerable amount, but so was the rent on most living places. He slept peacefully, happy with having done something for someone. He didn't want to waste his gifts. He was big and strong so he could help, after all.


	4. Introduction to Sierra

_**A/N: Alright, folks, this is the last intro chapter! I promise we'll have some real fun soon! As always, enjoy and review!**_

_**§SS§**_

_Clink. _The glass hit the bar, and just as fast as she finished this drink, another was bought for her.

Sierra Smalls sat back__and enjoyed the benefits of being... She shuddered internally. Cute. And also having fake ID. That was also helpful. Between these two things, it seemed that men- and some women- never stopped buying her drinks. Sure, they were cheap, and the bar was a little- okay, a lot- seedy, but it was better than nothing, she figured.

She fiddled with one of her pigtails- the things really added to the cute effect- and patted the hair atop her head to make sure her floppy dog's ears were hidden. She purposely made the pigtails loose to keep them under wraps. Nobody needed to know she was a faunus, not for a long while. But she'd show them all eventually that fauni were just as good as humans.

She adjusted her baggy sweater, and equally baggy jeans. All her clothes were hand-me-downs, just a little too big for her, especially since she was exceptionally short, just about five feet tall. The whole effect made her look like an adorable little street kid, but bathed.

The truth of it was, she was pretty close to being an actual street kid, the way the financial situation was looking. They were barely managing rent, utilities and bulk-bought canned food. Hell, they were pretty close to losing that much as well, with how little the iron mining company was paying her two parents and her oldest brother. The White Fang constantly attacking caravans and trains wasn't helping the paycheck, and it was already crap just because they were fauni, and then there were taxes to pay.

Sierra was determined to change things, though. She was going to be a huntress. It would take a few years, but the job came with quite the paycheck- one that would support her family in reasonable comfort. And she aimed to be the best- to show the world what a faunus could do.

But for now? She just wanted to be drunk, and that was very much accomplished. She vacated her seat, and semi-stumbled out the door.

Or, she tried to. She was stopped by a burly man, a great, greasy drunk with a big scar on his cheek. "Ey, where d'you think you're goin'?"

She sighed, reaching to her belt for the mace hanging there. Her weapon was disproportionately large, considering her size. "I'm going home. Now _move yourself _ before I have to move you." Only part of that bravado was drunk.

The large man laughed right up until he caught the ball of the long-handled mace in the gut. And then, there was vomit.

While he was busy vomiting, a few of his fellows made the poor decision to surround her. "Oh, you wanna do this?" Sierra asked rhetorically. With a flip of her weapon, it was looking suspiciously like a light machine gun without a magazine- mostly because that was exactly the case. She'd swapped its usual power source for a low-output dust crystal meant to stun, just for this sort of event- well-stolen, she told herself.

The idiots were starting to look scared. _Hmph. Good. _"What? Never seen a huntress? You gon' _learn _tonight!"

She squeezed the trigger. A long burst came forth, and the entire bar was laying stunned a few seconds after, groaning and rubbing heads, smashed glass and spilled spirits everywhere. She sighed at all the wased alcohol. In a brief fit of whimsy, she picked up one of the few untouched glasses and drained it before leaving, letting her weapon return to its more manageable mace form and walking herself home.

Coming from a poor family, she naturally lived in a poor section of the city. A few men smoking on porches called out greetings- everyone knew everyone in the slums, it seemed.

When she made it back to her home, it wasn't so much late at night as very early in the morning. She slipped in the door, and quietly padded into the bedroom she shared with her younger sisters. She slipped her body in among the other three on the grouped air mattresses, stealthy as ever. Somewhere in her muddled mind, she knew she'd have a hangover the next morning. She rolled over and held onto one of the younger dog fauni under the covers.

_Some day, we'll be out of this damn mess. It's going to get better, _she thought as she drifted off. _I'll make it better._


	5. Arrival at Beacon, Pt I: Off the Airship

_**A/N: And here we go! With the intro chapters done, we get to start turning a funny! Once again, review, review, review! Those things are way important! More importantly, enjoy yourselves! **_

_**§SS§**_

Alex stepped aboard the airship, and looked around in awe. They were using these just to get them to Beacon? This was incredible! He'd never flown before- he was quite excited. Even more so when he remembered that everyone else on the plane was also an up-and-coming huntress or huntsman. These people were_ his _people. His future coworkers and allies, every one of them skilled and powerful, each in possession of a weapon that was, in some way, unique to them.

His eyes wide with awe, the short, pudgy spear-wielder practically skipped around the airship, drawing an odd look or two as his olive coat fluttered behind him. He spotted Ruby and Yang, and considered greeting them, but was quickly distracted with another figure on the ship. His jaw practically hit the floor.

_Is that __**the **__Pyrrha Nikos? Oh my GOD that is __**the **__Pyrrha Nikos! I never thought she'd come to Beacon, I always figured she'd find some kind of fancy private school oh my God what do I even say? I've always wanted to meet her and now I don't know what I'm doing ohmyGOD!_

_Bump. _He smacked right into someone, and they both fell on their asses. He was the first one up, and extended a hand to help- and then quietly freaked out when he realized he'd been so busy fanboying that he'd actually smacked right into the very person he'd been thinking of. Thankfully, his manners kicked in.

"Holy crap, I'm sorry! Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. But what about you?" She took the hand, and he hauled her up.

_She's concerned about me? Squee. _"I'm alright. Seriously, I should watch where I'm going... You... You're Pyrrha Nikos, right?" _Play it cool, PLAY IT COOL!_

The tournament champion suddenly looked very tired. "Yes, that... That is me."

"I know you probably hear this constantly," he said with a grin, pulling a large casing from his pocket- notably from the same type of round her rifle used. "But would you sign this? Please?"

Pyrrha sighed. "Certainly. It's... It's always a pleasure to meet a fan." She scrawled her signature on the metal. "Would you excuse me?"

"Of course, of course! And thank you!" Alex said with a big, foolish grin, not even registering that she seemed slightly upset. "I hope Beacon's as good for you as it's looking for me."

"Thank you," she sighed, walking off while Alex stared in awe.

_Pyrrha Freaking Nikos just signed a casing for me! This thing is going around my neck later!_

_**§SS§**_

Gilligan stared at the pudgy stranger in disgust. _Ugh, look at him. Fanboying over some silly celebrity. And did he seriously just get her to sign a damned casing? Wow. No._

Gilligan groaned, and silently reminded himself he only had a few years with these idiots, scratching at his neckbeard. He quietly took a seat, and everyone visibly shifted away from him, noses wrinkled, and a few faunus ears pointed back in irritation at his music. _Good. Get away from me. Damn freaks._

He sat back and closed his eyes. _Maybe my team will be decent._

_**§SS§**_

Elwood smiled brightly as he stepped inside the aircraft. He was used to airships, but this was special- this was the airship to Beacon! Here, he could put himself to work helping people, or at least get the training to do so.

_I'm gonna make so many new friends! Everyone seems so nice!_

On his way to his seat, he spotted a lot of interesting people. Some looked really smart, and some seemed strong and others just appeared to be people. There was a much greater number of fauni than he'd expected, and he decided to sit with a group of wolf people. He gave them a friendly enough greeting, but they seemed too focused on one another, slowly shifting away. _I guess they're a pack, _he thought, chuckling to himself quietly. _At least they seem good._

Ever curious, Elwood spoke to many people. Most greeted him with smiles and handshakes, though a few were squeaky and awkward, and one or two either ignored him or told him to go away.

He found that people had lots of reasons for choosing this path. Some for money, some for the fame or the glory, for adventures, because it was what they knew best, and the most common seemed to be a simple desire to help others, though it usually came in conjunction with one of the former reasons.

Elwood decided he liked these people very much.

_**§SS§**_

Sierra watched the handsome blond boy make his social way. Channeling her aura, she used her semblance- the ability to determine people's true emotions. She could tell now that he was genuinely friendly, and it seemed like people genuinely liked him.

_But he doesn't seem too bright. I wonder how he got in? Is he a rich boy?_

Sierra took a seat of her own, and made sure her ears remained hidden. Suddenly, her train of thought was interrupted when a pudgy boy with a spear sat next to her. "... Wait, me sitting here isn't a problem, is it? And aren't you a bit young?"

_Sigh. _"No, it's fine. And believe it or not, I'm sixteen. Everyone thinks I'm a little kid."

"To be fair, you kind of look like one."

"Please don't remind me."

"I won't," he chuckled. "Now what's your name? I get the feeling we'll be good friends..."

_**§SS§**_

By the time they were off the airship, Sierra and Alex were chattering animatedly and amicably. They'd gotten off to a good start when he'd noticed her book- an old fantasy novel that was making a comeback. From there, it had become a discussion of weapons and tactics, naturally enough, and from there to- one way or another- home life, the turn most coversations end up taking.

While Sierra hadn't much to say about hers, Alex seemed to have no end of words, both complaints and praises. When he told her a story of his mother making him throw away cheese for petty spite, she reacted in absolute horror. Alex could tell there was more than the "minor trouble with the bank" by how disgusted she was with the idea of wasting food- most people would be confused and angry, but she almost seemed enraged. He chose to keep it to himself, though. It wouldn't do to press. Instead, he just finished with an angry spit of his own.

"I know, right? People starving in the slums because Schnee or Agani or whoever doesn't pay them shit for dick, and here she is, screaming and making me throw away good food just because she didn't get any. Something wrong with that."

"There's a lot wrong with that," Sierra grunted. "Yeah, if this is how you look at things, I think I like you."

He sighed. "Well, at least there was cheese for her to be petty and spiteful over. It could always be worse. In fact, my life philosophy is halfway made up of that statement."

"Really?" Sierra asked. "What's the other half?"

"It could always be better," Alex replied. "We should be grateful things are as good as they are, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try and improve, too!"

"... Yeah, I definitely like you. Hey, maybe we'll be on a team together?"

"I hope so," he chuckled. "I'd be great fire support, since you look like a great close-up person. But I hear the selection process for teams is basically random."

"Wait, seriously? You don't have a choice? That's crazy! How are we supposed to build a good team unless we can find the people who compliment us?"

"I think that's the point. We're not _supposed _to get an ideal team, because that's not how it works in the real world. We have to learn to work with people who weren't really meant for us to work with, because when you're outside the walls, you don't have any options. Work well with who you have, or die."

Sierra blinked. "Huh... I never really thought about it like that."

"Of course there's also the possibility that I'm horribly wrong and Ozpin is a sadist."

"Are you a genius or just depressed?"

"Little of column A, little of column B," he answered, grinning cheerily.

_He seems like such a warm person, _Sierra thought as she giggled.

_Pretty AND with a sense of humor? Yes please. Huh. Well, knowing my luck she's either a religious freak or not into guys. Well, whatever. Friends are good, too, _Alex mused. _Besides, I just met her. Maybe she's actually a huge bitch._

Sierra channeled her aura again, her semblance telling her he was uncertain about her, but curious. She let it slide- saying something about it wouldn't be smart just yet. She didn't want to ruin a potential friend, after all.

They headed into the school together, hauling what little they'd packed, each with a different reason for the lightness of their luggage. To both of them, it was the promising start of a longstanding friendship.

_**§SS§**_

Elwood and Gilligan got off the craft together somehow. Both had packed a great deal, and had the misfortune to try to get out at the same time.

Their luggage clogged the door. "God damn it, you retard!" Gilligan shouted. "Move your shit back!"

"Sorry!" Elwood returned sheepishly. Several minutes of awkward struggling later, they freed their things of the doorway. Elwood apologized profusely, offering to buy this other heavy packer some drinks later. Gilligan was about to refuse with a haughty snort, but then, he noticed something.

_That's... This is Elwood Agani. Heir to the Agani Conglomerate. The guys who play puppet master to all the small junk food brands to give people the illusion of choice. Can't hurt to make rich friends..._

"Sure, sure... Thanks." _Bullshit time. _"Sorry, I don't think I got your name. I'm Gilligan Henshaw."

"Elwood Agani," the blond responded to his newfound friend. _He seems nice!_

And so Gilligan and Elwood made a pair of themselves, heading into the school together, Elwood's blond shag bobbing side by side with Gilligan's black bird's nest, one thinking he'd found a friend and one thinking he'd found a potential meal ticket.


	6. Arrival at Beacon, Pt II: Make a Friend

Some time later, all the first-years had situated themselves in the ballroom, as per Beacon tradition, with no lines of any sort. "Just bed down someplace you like- you're only here for one night, and teams share rooms anyway, so dividing space based on anything is thoroughly pointless," the professor in charge had told them.

With the fact that there were no gender lines in mind, Alex made his decision- to try and befriend as many pretty girls as he could and hope for the best. Honestly, he preferred women to men for company anyway- most of the other men he knew were boorish and excessively stupid, and boring besides. But women were wonderful creatures, he'd decided some time ago. Pretty, full of interesting information, always pleasant, and with intelligent interests besides.

His plan, naturally, was only marginally effective, netting him Sierra- who had already been a safe bet as a companion- and a sweet little rabbit faunus by the name of Cherry. She was very slightly slow, but pleasant enough, not to mention affectionate once she got over her shyness. A few other students seemed weary of him already, and were suddenly actively avoiding him now that he was choosing to associate with a faunus.

Cherry actually brought it up. "Aren't you worried people might not like you for this? I mean, I'm a faunus, and-"

Not usually one for rudeness, Alex interrupted. "I don't give a damn. If they'd judge a faunus for her ears, then _fuck 'em. _We need togetherness and tolerance, not another stupid internal war just because humans can't cope with the idea that something else might be smart."

Sierra glared at him. "You say that as if you weren't one. Now shut your foul mouth, there's a little kid over there."

Alex glanced at Ruby. "One, I barely am. Humans are entitled shits and I refuse to be like most of my species. Two, who cares? She's at Beacon, she'll get used to it. Besides, she lives with Yang Xiao Long, and that woman sounds like a drunk pirate with a stubbed toe and no wenches."

"How would you know?"

"I have fucking ears, that's how. Shit, you do well enough picking up my obscenities. Try listening to the world around you instead."

Sierra chuckled. "Sorry... I'm just used to a lot of little kids hanging around is all."

"Try being a rabbit faunus," Cherry snorted. "Sometimes the stereotypes are true."

The three of them burst out laughing. Alex appreciated people who didn't take themselves seriously.

Sierra just appreciated the irony, ears still hidden from the world under her hair.

_**§SS§**_

Gilligan and Elwood found their own spot, out of the way and in a corner. They set out their mats, and Gilligan flopped on his, turning his music up almost immediately. Elwood cocked his head.

"Don't you wanna go meet people, Gilligan? There's all kinds of interesting ones!"

Gilligan groaned. If he wanted to be Agani's friend, he'd need to actually talk to him. "I like my music. I need to relax right now, okay, buddy? But I don't mind if you go meet people yourself- I hope you do well with it."

Elwood beamed. "Thanks, Gilligan! Have fun with your music." The rich idiot bounced off, eager to make more friends, leaving Gilligan to his music.

He and his duster coat sank deep into the sleeping mat, and he eventually fell asleep, not even realizing it.

But he had a dream. His music continued playing in it. The heavy bass suited the bright, pulsating lights that filled the air around him as he walked on a floor that looked like a bad screensaver on an old computer. He kept moving, only to meet... Himself.

Well, it looked like him. But younger. Maybe ten, in raggedy clothes, disheveled and emaciated, full of minor scrapes and cuts, left to the open air because his family hadn't been able to afford bandages, and one tended to acquire such wounds as a thief. Little Gilligan spoke up. "Is this what Mama raised? What would she think?"

Real Gilligan snorted. "Who cares what she'd think? She's a dead woman. Hell, who cares what anyone thinks? I'm in life for me."

Little Gilligan cocked his head. "Is that a good way to live?"

"Of course it is."

"What would Mama-"

Gilligan cut off his younger self right there, with a silencing decapitation-headshot combo. He snorted. "I don't have time for this pathetic shit."

The dream faded to black.

_**§SS§**_

Elwood observed his sleeping friend. Gilligan was sweating a lot and he looked stressed, but maybe he was just too warm. The heir decided to leave his friend alone for now- he seemed to be enjoying his nap otherwise.

It was almost time to bed down, though, and Elwood had found someplace discrete to change into some seriously fluffy flannel. He was comfy, and the lights were dying down. He was happy to have made so many friends, but now he was tired. He needed sleep.

_**§SS§**_

Across the way, Alex and Sierra were propped up side by side, holding one another's scrolls and sharing taste in music. In both cases, their tastes were primarily "things that get bootlegged," but drastically different in style.

The smaller girl's was pretty much what Alex had expected from his first impression. She was into pop from the times when their parents might have been young, for the most part, but there was a little rap mixed in here or there.

The pudgy boy's tatse jarred Sierra, to say the least. He was such a happy, cheery sort of person, warm and jolly. And here his music was, mocking that with sheer contrast. It all seemed to be either angry rock and metal, or morose, miserable violin-and-piano. That and love songs of all bents.

_She's so typical. It's adorable._

_What the Hell is with this guy?_

Eventually, each scroll was returned to its actual owner. Neither had a comment. Cherry just... Giggled. It was almost disturbing.

Sierra was the first to notice the dimming lights. "Maybe we should sleep. Soon. I hear initiation is going to be unholy."

Alex snorted. "Unholy? That's a light word, from what I've heard."

Cherry just giggled some more. "Just you two wait."

"Aaaand I'm worried," Alex murmured as he settled into his sleeping mat. "Goodnight, you two," he finished as the lights went out altogether.

"Goodnight," they chorused in response.

_Only tomorrow is going to show me for sure what I can expect here at beacon._


	7. Initiation of AGES

_Blah blah blah, blah-blah blahblahblah, blah blah. First person I see is my partner, go get artefact, yadda yadda. Shut up and launch us already, Ozpin you old fart. Come on, you know how it is to be an impatient- OHGOD!_

And like that, Alex was flung into the air and off the edge of the cliff by the catapult platform beneath him, rocketing into the sky with his spear in hand, as per Beacon tradition. Beacon had weird traditions, like chucking students off a cliff and into the woods for initiation and expecting them to survive- which, actually, they did almost invariably.

Alex reached the apex of his arc as a projectile, and seemed to float briefly. He looked out over the woods, and saw the vast expanses of Vale, and the world beyond the walls. _It's beautiful. _He appreciated how small he was in the grand scheme of things, and then he remembered his self-preservation instincts because he had started falling. _Shitshitshit!_

It was time to start devising his landing strategy. It was simple enough- not that he had time for anything complex.

All he had to do was plant his spear in trees on his way, using his admittedly minimal upper body strength, supplemented with a little aura, to gradually slow his descent. Even with all this, he still had to employ a little aura shielding when he hit the ground, and he hit it hard enough to be briefly disoriented, standing up and brushing away dirt and dizziness as he looked around him.

_Great. Trees, trees, and, hey, more trees! Fuck me! I hope I can at least find Sierra. Or that Ruby Rose. Or her big sister. Hell, anyone useful and pretty. I'll take the prissy heiress, even. As long as it's not the neckbeard and his fucking cowboy hat, or that douchelick Cardin._

_... I'm probably in for an unpleasant surprise, aren't I? God, if you're out there, give me someone I won't quietly dispose of. Please?_

_**§SS§**_

Sierra shrieked and curled up in a ball as she plummeted through the sky, ramping up her powerful aura to form a sheild she hoped would keep the impact from breaking anything. It wasn't the best strategy, but her weapon wasn't going to help slow her.

"Ow! Ow! Yowch! Oh CRAP THAT HURTS!" Sierra yelped the whole way down through the canopy, and when she hit the ground. She definitely heard some cracks, but as she tested herself, nothing was really broken, although it hurt to move now.

She groaned as she got up. The joints that hit the ground first were throbbing, but she could walk and swing her weapon. She whacked a tree, leaving a dent as she moved. She instantly regretted that- her arm was throbbing now.

_Please, let me find Alex or Cherry. They seemed good._

She propped up against a tree and closed her eyes in meditation, murmuring prayers to her gods, the gods of wood and stone, to bring her someone she could work with.

_**§SS§**_

Gilligan swung through the trees, using his blades to slow himself, embedding their tips deep in branches and trunks to mark his path, landing in a graceful roll, standing to exude his chip-dust smell, straightening his duster coat and his hat.

_Let me find that Elwood idiot. He may not be bright, but he looks strong, not to mention he's genuinely helpful, if his attitude is anything to go on. Just what I need._

What Gilligan found instead was a pudgy boy balanced on the butt of a spear, the weapon's blade driven into the dirt while the owner stood on one foot, carefully maintaining his position, obviously making use of his semblance.

"What the Hell are you doing?"

Alex groaned, and his grey eyes looked on Gilligan with the utmost disdain. _If there's a God, he's a fuckface. One of the two guys I specifically asked to not be sent. _He stopped channeling his aura and hopped down, hauling his weapon into his grasp on the way. "Well, I was waiting for someone of use, but your smelly ass showed up. I guess it's you, me, and your stupid fucking cowboy hat. Let's move, neckbeard."

"All the social graces of a beowulf, I see."

"You shut your damn Schneeto-hole. You reek of cheese dust and I don't think I've ever heard you so much as thank the cafeteria staff. You're more major-league gamer than huntsman."

Gilligan opened his mouth to reply and found the edge of a spear blade at his neck.

"Now, are we going to stand here and trade banter, or are we going to go accomplish our objective? We don't quite have all day. We're stuck together. It isn't ideal, but we work with what we have. I don't like you, and you don't like me. The fact that this has come to pass before we even know one another's names is evidence enough we'll probably never be good friends," Alex growled. "But we can still be good teammates if you're willing to try. We don't have to like one another- we just have to fight together. So let's go."

Gilligan grinned as the pudgy one removed the blade from his throat. "Well, at least you've got a good attitude about it. Now let's not let anyone beat us to the mark. I won't let you bog me down."

"I'll be dragging you along, jackass," Alex grunted as he started to walk. Gilligan followed along.

"We'll see about that."

_**§SS§**_

Elwood was another one swinging through the trees, using his weapon to slow himself. He hit the ground a little harder than he intended, but quickly used his semblance to fix up his legs. And he started walking, figuring it wasn't smart to stay in one place too long. It'd be easier to find someone this way, plus he needed to get to the temple. _Why waste time? I'm an idiot and I can figure this out._

Elwood had a fairly unique trait among fools- he knew he was a fool. He accepted it, tried not to think too hard, and he moved on, unknowingly wise in his simplicity.

As he walked, he flipped his weapon around in his hands- a short-handled, single-bladed axe that could also be a stockless combat shotgun. He prided himself on how simple it was- so simple even he could use it, to deadly effect. The whole thing was colored gold and green, an effect he liked. The Agani heir was not one for subtlety.

He eventually spied a small figure leaned against a tree. _What's a little girl doing out here?_

"Hey! Little girl! Are you okay?" Elwood shouted as he ran toward her. "This is a dangerous place! Why are you... Oh." He trailed off when he noticed her weapon.

"I'm not a little girl, dammit. What are you, stupid?"

"Yes, actually. I'm not very bright. ... But even I can tell you're hurt. Want some help?"

_Huh. Maybe the old gods didn't send me Alex because I needed this simpleton instead. _"... Yes. Please."

Elwood adjusted his thin dress shirt, and rolled the sleeves up. He placed his hands on her, and made use of his semblance, channeling enough energy to fix up her minor hairline fractures, sprains and strains. "There you go! Good as new. I'm Elwood. Guess we're partners."

"Sierra. That's... Wow, thanks. I feel a lot better."

The blond fool beamed. "I like helping people. So, let's go find those relics. Professor Ozpin said we needed to come back with one."

"Yeah, you're right," the smaller girl sighed. "So let's move. We don't wanna be the last ones there, do we?"

"Nope!" Elwood responded, skipping off while Sierra followed with a smile.

_I think I actually like him._

_**§SS§**_

"Holy shit."

"God damn, was that a fucking _nevermore _they killed?"

"Looks like it," Gilligan said, shocked and awed.

Alex chuckled. "And a deathstalker? Maybe it's good we weren't the first ones here! What's the betting we have Ruby Rose to thank for this, at least in part?"

"Well, I know it wasn't Vomit Boy. He probably died on impact."

"Poor bastard. Dunno how he got into Beacon," Alex sighed.

"Well, who cares about that moron? If he's gone, it's one less idiot. Let's get our relic and get out. ... Are those...?"

Alex nodded, picking one up. "Yeah, chess pieces."

The bushes rustled. Gilligan popped a weapon into pistol mode and trained it on the source- until Elwood and Sierra stumbled out. "Gilligan!"

"Alex, you shit!"

"Great way to greet a friend. Grab a piece and let's head-"

A chilling howl came from the woods. Gilligan groaned. "Just what we needed! A pack of beowulf! ... Beowolves?"

Alex slapped him upside he head. "Who cares about the correct plural right now?! We need to kill them!"

Alex and Sierra both swapped out for gun mode, setting up shop on the stone floor of the "temple," the former using a pedestal to steady the long rifle, adjusting his hold on the vertical pistol grip of his black-and-silver work of art.

The first grimm charged out of the underbrush, and caught three rounds of acid dust projectile in the chest for its efforts, the corrosive magical fluid burning holes into its torso that caused it to collapse and expire. Alex was absolutely not playing around right now.

Sierra muttered disappointedly about how she thought she was the only one using a full dust crystal as an ammo source like that as three more charged out. She let off a short burst, and the resultsnt explosions (another well-stolen crystal) eviscerated the monsters, spraying the viscera of darkness on Elwood and a disgusted Gilligan, who'd been about to deal with them up close. "Watch your damn fire, little girl!" Gilligan shouted.

The next grimm charged him and his duster coat, and he sidestepped the larger creature, flipping a knife into a backhand grip and driving the tip into the base of the beowulf's skull, giving a sharp jerk that severed the brain stem and violently yanking his weapon out, while Elwood chose a less finessed route and buried the head of his axe in another enemy's skull, having to plant his foot in the fresh corpse's chest to pull it out.

They were starting to come in larger numbers now, and Sierra was having to fire more bursts, and longer ones. She was beginning to worry she'd overheat her baby and deform the barrel. Alex, meanwhile, was struggling to pick a target in the sizable pack that was charging his group down. He was squeezing off fewer shots now, each one a strike to the head, absolutely lethal, but slow.

Elwood and Gilligan, in the meantime, fought back to back, ensuring neither of them could be taken by surprise as they masterfully deflected claws and dodged teeth, destroying monster after monster, though they took a few serious hits in the process in spite of their partners' covering fire.

The sheer numbers of grimm were enabling the mindless creatures to close the distance to the ranged fighters, who were quick to ditch their guns and opt for the melee forms of their weapons, setting themselves back to back like the other two. Brains were bashed and guts were spilled, but even his semblance of precision couldn't help the spear fighter block every blow, and his chest was raked quite a few times. His front was drenched in blood already, and Sierra's aura, having already taken a serious drain that day with her landing, was beginning to die down, leaving her vulnerable to a few minor wounds.

Slowly, the tide of monsters stemmed, and the young warriors allowed themselves to collapse, exhausted, when there were no more for several minutes, breathing hard and shallow. Alex even threw up a little, not used to this much effort. All told, there seemed to be about forty grimm lying dead- ten medium sized grimm apiece, a sizable number for four who weren't even technically Beacon students yet.

"Thank God they're not smart," Alex hacked, wiping some blood from his mouth while Elwood stumbled over, recognizing how serious his wounds were.

The blond managed to staunch the bleeding and close the wounds, but could do nothing to replace the lost blood. He couldn't do anything for Sierra- he was drained. Thankfully, her injuries weren't life-threatening. The tired quartet picked their chess pieces, and started stumbling and cursing their way back to base, each of them leaning on their partner, proud of their victory but too tired to even speak praise to one another.

_**§SS§**_

Alex and the others, battered and bruised, watched the other teams receive their names. _Poor Langley. Leader of team LOSE._

"... Alex Klein, Gilligan Henshaw, Elwood Agani, Sierra Smalls," Ozpin announced, and the four stepped forward. "The four of you retrieved the white queen pieces. From this day forward, you will work together as Team AGES, lead by Alex Klein."

Alex looked confused and proud as their display came up on the massive screen. Gilligan looked annoyed- disgusted even- but not surprised. Sierra clapped Alex on the back hard enough that he almost fell over. Elwood just looked blank, other than the smile he wore for the people clapping. Alex made his way off stage sheepishly, not enjoying being the center of attention, and the others followed behind their new leader. They were a team now, whether they liked it or not.

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, Alex hunted down Ozpin. "Professor? Sir?"

Ozpin rounded on him. "What is it? Something troubling you?"

"Yeah. What made you pick me? Elwood's more charismatic, Gilligan has more technical skill, and Sierra has a better attitude. Not that I'm complaining," Alex chuckled. "I get why you picked most of the people you did. But me?"

Ozpin chuckled back. "This is part of it. I read whatever transcripts and documents are available for every student. You're questioning me, and for once, it's a good thing. You have a track record for questioning, and most people call it a bad thing. I call it a sign someone is thinking before they do things. You're looking out for your team's best interests, even if you happen to outright hate one of them."

Alex looked surprised. "Well, if I'm supposed to be their leader..."

"Exactly. This is why I choose those I do. It isn't for their combat capabilities or their academic scores. Otherwise, many of those I picked today would have been out of the question. I choose those who will take care of their teams to the best of their abilities. Those willing to listen to others and still remain independent."

Alex scratched his jarhead. "So what you're saying is that you chose me because you know I'll actually care about my team."

"If you wish to simplify it that much, yes. It's the most important quality a leader can have," Ozpin replied. "If I wanted heartless, efficient dictatorship in our teams, I would certainly have made some very different decisions today. But that's not to say you get to slack off. You _are _still expected to keep your team in line and on track, and to lead them into battle. Do I make myself clear, young man?"

"Yes, sir," Alex said. "I get it now. Thank you."

Ozpin smiled gently. "I assure you, you're welcome. I never make a decision I am not willing to explain to those it effects. I am a leader as well, and to make such decisions would be poor leadership indeed. Now go to your team- they're waiting for you, I would assume."

Alex vanished. "Yes, sir," could be heard before he quietly paced away.

The headmaster adjusted his glasses, sipping his ever-present coffee. There might be more to Alex Klein than even Alex Klein knew.

_**§SS§**_

When Alex arrived at their new bedroom, his team had already arranged it. A bed in each corner, baggage stuffed under the beds and into the four small closets. Elwood and Gilligan shared the right hand side, while Sierra lounged alone on the left, across from what must have been the bed they'd left their leader. Her desk was already a clutter of paper and pens, while Gilligan's was a neatly organized mass of the same.

Already, they were making it home, weapons hanging on racks, maintenance supplies on the workbench that dominated the back of the room, and half a bag of crunchy Schneetos on the floor. Alex reluctantly parted with his precious Snowstorm and put her on the rack just under Sierra's mace- Autumn Breeze, if the handle was to be believed, colored red and brown.

"Is everyone comfortable?" Alex asked rhetorically. He received an answer from Elwood, who he just couldn't be mad at.

"Yep," the blond replied from his bed.

Alex chuckled. "Oh, and Gilligan? Get a shower tomorrow morning. Please? I'll only ask nicely once. You're going to be living with us, so you'd better not carry on reeking of Schneetos and B.O."

"Yeah, whatever," the neckbeard grunted in return.

"If you smell like a kid who spends his life yammering about the excellence of katanas over the mic on his S-Box tomorrow, I will put Snowstorm's muzzle in your ass and fire, I swear."

"I'll hold you down," Sierra volunteered.

Elwood fidgeted. "Is there really a need for that? Don't worry, he'll wash up."

"Good," Alex grunted, flopping on his bed without even bothering to take his boots off. "Because I really don't wanna carry through on that."

Sierra cleared her throat. "Guys? It's almost midnight. I know Alex and Gilligan are probably used to staying up late reading visual novels, but I, for one, would like to be awake in class tomorrow."

"Seconded," Elwood said. "My fluffy jamies aren't for sitting around, they're for sleeping!"

"Agreed. And I do not stay up all night playing otome games, Sierra. Now goodnight, the lot of you."

He flicked off the light switch, and they all hunkered down, murmuring their goodnights, quickly falling asleep, tired from the day's events and dreaming of tomorrow.

_**§SS§**_

_**A/N: There we have it, their initiation! Also, I really hope you guys liked how I handled Ozpin, and how I handled combat scenes. Well, go on. Review me!**_


	8. Settled In and Talking Too Much

Three weeks in, Team AGES had finally begun to settle in. Gilligan had begun to shower regularly, after Alex partially carried through on his threat. Sierra was immersing herself in notes and, unknown to her teammates, liquor. Elwood was finding willing tutors left and right when people noticed he wasn't doing well academically, and was working hard to learn. And Alex was losing himself on a nearly daily basis in sparring matches.

This time, he was really in for it- he'd secured himself one Nora Valkyrie as a sparring partner. As soon as he saw her warhammer, he knew he was about to be soundly drubbed. _But fuck me if I don't try!_

The cackling woman took the first swing, bringing her weapon straight across at Alex's head. He tilted back just enough to avoid being struck, and dashed forward, inside the weapon's reach and too close to be struck by the head while she recovered from her miss, pushing Snowstorm's tip at her chest. It would have sunk itself in right between her breasts, had she not turned aside in the nick of time.

The redheaded war machine then threw her considerable weight and strength into a hard hook that caught him off guard and sent him reeling, and stepped back to deliver a crushing sweep to his chest. Thankfully, his aura protected him from the worst of this blow, and it only hurt a lot and bowled him over instead of caving in his whole torso. He rolled back, and popped up on his feet, brandishing his spear at length.

The crazed woman came at him with her hammer raised high over her head, and aimed a blow that would have squashed the shorter young man, had he not raised Snowstorm in time, catching the handle of her weapon on the shaft of his, and deflecting it down to the right, knowing he couldn't stop her cold. When her hammer's head hit the floor, he flipped his spear over and took a sidelong swipe at his sparring partner, landing a blow that, without aura protection, would have gutted her.

She grinned, and he realized too late what was about to happen. She brought her warhammer up on a diagonal while his weapon was across his chest, and the flat head caught him right under the chin. The blow sent him flying a short distance, and he landed flat on his back.

"Nora Valkyrie is the winner," declared the supervising professor in a bored voice. It seemed Alex's aura had dropped into the red zone on the indicator bar shown on the display screen above them- the line for a loss in a fight that disallowed the participants from killing one another. Nora, her own aura nearly in the yellow zone, stepped forward and helped him up.

"Wow, that was fun!"

"Yeah, it was," Alex agreed, accepting her help gratefully and rubbing his chin.

"Ooh, wanna go again? Please?"

Alex sighed. "I wish. But we'll need to wait a while for my aura to come back," he said, stretching. "Besides, I don't like to start a match so close to supper. Last time I started a session this late, my partner and I fought so long we wound up missing the meal!"

Nora looked disappointed. In spite of how fast the match was, Alex _had _still been an actual challenge for her. Few managed to even drag it on as long as they had just now. "Aaaaw..."

"Maybe tomorrow. Why not spar with Ren for now?"

Lie Ren glared with seething hatred at his pudgy classmate, who fled the room quickly. "Have fun!" Alex shouted.

_**§SS§**_

Sierra sat in the tree, content in the fall chill with her thick sweater, legs dangling over either side of her branch as she leaned against the trunk, eyes closed, murmuring in prayer.

_Gods of wood and stone, grant me courage... And patience. I'll need them in abundance. Let my family be safe and warm this winter. Let Elwood be smart, and give Gilligan the graces you gave a toad. And give my team's leader an attention span._

It was a beautiful day, she knew, more by smell than anything, but she'd seen as well. The leaves had turned myriad colors, orange and red and even blue and purple in some cases, but it was not yet late enough that they'd fallen from the branches, lending the small glade on Beacon's schoolgrounds an air of mysticism and magic, especially with the smell of rain on the air as it was, and the music sound of the wind blowing through branches and bushes prevalent in the air. The air was cool, but not enough to be a bothersome thing, and Sierra could just lay back and let her enhanced senses run wild, taking in the smells and sounds of the world in a way she rarely got the chance for when she was in the city. It was a Saturday afternoon, almost evening. Nearly time for supper, she noted drowsily.

She was shaken from her quiet reverie by the sound of what was definitely a marching cadence that made her floppy ears twitch under her hair, crunching the twigs and the few fallen leaves under heavy boots. It took her but a moment to relax again- to her sensitive ears and nose, Alex's gait and scent were easily identifiable. He halted at what sounded like the foot of the tree. "You been up there all day, Sierra?"

"Pretty much. You sound injured."

"Sparring session. Nora."

Sierra winced, eyes still shut. "Say no more," she said. "Why don't you come up here? You could do with sitting in a tree now and then. It's good to be close to the gods."

Alex sighed. "I keep telling you, I don't believe in gods," he grunted. But he was climbing anyway.

"And yet you insist on visiting their house with me," she giggled, finally opening her eyes. Alex had certainly begun dressing for the weather. He wore a thick, brown leather jacket today, in place of his usual raggedy old military surplus coat, though he left the garment open.

He'd taken post on a branch next to hers, and was looking right at her. "Maybe I don't want to leave a good friend all alone where nobody can hear her scream," he teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be an ass."

"But it's one of my callings!" Alex protested. "I can't just stop being an ass!"

"Fine," she chuckled, "but don't turn into Gilligan."

"Don't worry," he scoffed. "I've got the sense nature gave a goldfish, at a minimum. So I'm smarter than that."

"I know he's a prick, but why do you hate him so damn much?"

"I think he's trying to use Elwood as a meal ticket. I don't have the heart to tell the poor fool, though- he's so attached."

"Trust me, Gilligan actually cares about Elwood. Up to a point. I think the three of us have grown on him," Sierra said with her trademark gentle smile. "Have some patience with him. Everyone is how they are for a reason, and we'll find his in time."

"You're not wrong," Alex conceded, sharpening Snowstorm's edges with a whet stone he seemed to have produced from nowhere. "Doesn't make you right, though."

"You're weird."

"Says the tree-worshipper."

"This from the guy who voluntarily sparred with Nora and fanboyed for an hour when he got his ass kicked by Pyrrha Nikos."

"You win," he groaned. "But it's supper, and you're eating."

"Not hungry."

Alex glared at her, the way an angry old drill instructor looks at a recruit who's just moved at attention. "You're eating, Sierra. It's my job to look after you three, and I'll be damned if one of my teammates drops dead mid-class because she wasn't eating."

"I'm not eating."

"Come on," he groaned. "Even a salad?"

"Nope."

"Eat. Or I'll tie you up, shove Snowstorm up your ass, and spoon-feed you."

"... Well, knowing you almost actually followed through with Gilligan... Ugh, fine. Fine, I'll eat!"

"Thank you," Alex groaned, leaning over for a successful hug. "Now let's go!"

_**§SS§**_

Gilligan and Elwood, meanwhile, were in town. The former had learned the latter had been cut off from his accounts, and pondered often why he was still friends with this bumbling idiot.

_He'll get it back later, _he rationalized. But deep down, an uncomfortable Gilligan realized he'd gotten attached to this moron.

Right now, they were spending the surprisingly large allowance that Beacon supplied its students with. It was well below minimum wage, but still quite a bit just for going to school, although Beacon did recoup most of that money through vending machines and supply shops set up inside the school, plus some extra for those who found time for other work or who had some spending cash from home.

Elwood was poring over some nice shoes at the moment, while Gilligan pored over a new type of dust-tipped pistol ammo in the next shop. According to the description, the new rounds would boil the insides of flesh targets on impact, using some odd fusion of fire and water dust. Naturally, he bought a small box of it in the appropriate caliber for his weapons.

Elwood found his friend, carrying his new shoes. "You know what, Gilligan? I'm starting to appreciate how much a hundred lein is to regular people, I think. How do you live without the finest clothes from Mistral or the best food from Atlas?"

"We do it with regular clothes from Vale, and regular food from Vale," Gilligan snorted. "Sometimes without even that."

"Wow," Elwood said, fascinated and horrified at the same time. He knew most people couldn't afford the things his family could, but he rarely had the notion that some went without food altogether. "How can that even happen?"

"They tough it out," Gilligan replied. "And they scrounge up whatever they can from trash or begging. Or stealing, a lot of times."

"No, no. How do they even get into those situations?"

Gilligan groaned and tried to give a simple explanation. "Governments and corporations suck. They tax too much and pay too little, and people have to choose between rent and food. Well, most times. Sometimes they're stupid and they borrow so much they can't pay it back, or they end up in prison and then can't get hired when they get out." _Like my parents. Morons._

Elwood just looked disgusted and depressed.

"I don't even know how you'll take this, but the Agani Conglomerate is one of the worst. They pay factory workers next to nothing. How do you think your father makes enough profit to live so comfortably? Balance, Elwood."

The handsome fool looked thoroughly uncomfortable and slightly confused. "So you're saying that, for every bit of extra one person gets, someone else has to have just as much bad luck?"

"That's pretty much the whole concept. Good job, you actually nailed that down pretty quick," Gilligan said. "Karma doesn't really work they way it would in a perfect world. Then again, in a perfect world, we wouldn't need the idea, would we?"

"I don't know what you said, so I'll just smile and nod."

Gilligan groaned. "That's alright, Elwood. I guess I don't need you to really get it. It's nice that you give enough fucks to listen."

_He seems sad. _"I know what'll cheer you up! Let's go get some supper!"

_**§SS§**_

Later that evening, it was raining. Alex and Sierra had chosen to go for a walk, and were racing back to the sweet indoors. The young man had been chivalrous enough to lend his coat, but his friend was still getting soaked, and he even more so.

_For a fat guy, he runs like Hell! I guess it's the rain- so determined to not spend time in it he's pushing past his physical limits or some such nonsense._

In fact, that was pretty much it. The reality was that his legs were burning and his chest and guts hurt. His breathing only sounded normal because he knew how to control it, as a sniper. Something else came into it, too. He wanted to be impressive. He rationalized that he had to be, as the leader.

Suddenly, he caught a whiff of something interesting. His nose wasn't as sensitive as a faunus' might be, but it was certainly above human average, and he distinctly smelled wet dog. He brushed it off as nothing at first- maybe a stray, or possibly someone who somehow brought a pet. But when the scent persisted, he filed the information away in his mind. He couldn't be sure, but she seemed to be the source. It could be nothing. Or it could be a game-changer for everything his team did, and their entire group dynamic.

For now, he kept running. When they finally got in, he almost collapsed.

_I guess he just doesn't like the rain. _"Crap, man, are you alright?"

"It's alright. I'm good..." _I'm gonna fucking die._

They walked back to the room, and they quietly changed in the corners, with a silent agreement to not look at one another. When they were done, they said so and turned.

_Huh. So she does have tits under all those baggy sweaters. Hell, she's kinda cute in a tank top._

_My gods he looks so much fatter without a coat. And does he even have muscles on his arms?_

Deciding they were done with the day, they'd changed into their pajamas. It seemed they shared similar taste- loose flannel pants and a tank top. Under his, you could clearly see his fat rolls and the fact that he shaved his armpits, for some unknown reason. Under hers, you could see a flat stomach and well-toned arms, and a small chest her sweaters usually hid. She was also pretty clearly cold.

"You alright?" Alex asked. He stretched, showing off an incredible level of farmer's tan, a stark line between nut brown and pasty white, the sun's kiss still fading from his head and lower arms.

She flopped on her bed and groaned. "Not really... I'm cold."

_Please tell me this means snuggling. _"You have blankets, Sierra."

"... Get over here, you fat idiot."

He obliged, and she yanked him down onto the bed, throwing the blanket over them and grabbing him in a hug tight enough to hurt, head resting in his chest, her thick brown hair still hiding her ears, even out of the pigtails. He situated himself, and returned the hug happily- he was a sucker for affection, and always had been. He rubbed her back a little, not sure what to say.

"You're like a furnace," she grumbled. "Why are guys so friggin' warm?"

"I dunno. But it's nice, isn't it?"

"Yeah," she muttered. "How would you know, anyway? You can't feel your own warmth."

"Other men exist. Just not enough attractive ones," he grunted.

"So you're into guys, huh?"

"Guys, girls. Whatever. As long as they're attractive physically and as a person, what's it matter, eh? Please don't be one of those people."

"Nah. The old gods are all about nature," the little mace-wielder sighed. "I don't care what those idiots in their weird seven-sided churches have to say, nature is whatever feels right. Doesn't always make sense in the strictest meaning of the term, but if it's in your nature and it's not gonna hurt people, go with it."

"Thanks," he muttered, squeezing a little. "People are better about that than they were in our parents' days, but they're still pretty shitty. At least I didn't get cut the awful deal of being a faunus. I'll take crap senses over baseless bullshit discrimination any day."

"So would I," she said, squeezing back. _I wonder if this is really how he feels about fauni? ... Emotion semblance says yes._

"You know, I learned to shoot so I could make a difference."

"Huh?"

He sighed into her scalp. "I learned to shoot because I didn't want to sit back and let shitty people do shitty things. I wanted to become a huntsman for the same reason. I see a lot of shitty people becoming huntsmen with me. The kind of people who beat on a faunus for her ears, or on really anyone just because they're a little different, got the balls to be who and what they are. What the Hell are they doing as protectors of life?"

She groaned. _He's going to get all philosophical and existential on me if I don't put a stop to this. _"They'll grow up. If not, they'll die being stupid. It'll all work out."

"Maybe," he mumbled. "Then again, Cardin is still walking, and if being an asshole gets you killed, his ghost's ghost should have a ghost by now."

"Fair enough. Let's just try to not think about this, okay? I just want to enjoy being warm," she groaned. "Don't ruin this by being all negative and depressed."

"... Do you have a dog?"

_Shit. _"No. Why?"

"... Eh, it's nothing."

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, Gilligan and Elwood stumbled back in, high and dry thanks to the former's umbrella, and spied the sleeping pair of friends curled up together.

"Aww," the would-be sheriff teased. "Are they a couple now?"

They startled awake at his voice and responded in unison. "No!"

"Cute, they even deny it together!"

"You're a fuckface, Gilligan."

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Give me some of your Schneetos."

"You just called me a fuckface, so I'm gonna go with _no..._"

"Eat a dick, Gilligan," Alex grunted.

"I believe that's your department," Gilligan replied.

"Fuck the Hell yes it is."

"Sometimes I'm not sure whether you're serious."

"Good. Now turn the damned light off, it's like twenty-two thirty."

Gilligan checked his scroll and promptly flipped the switch. "Just don't go getting it on over there," he chuckled.

"_We're not a couple!_" They replied emphatically.

_And there they go denying it together again, _Elwood thought. _Even I can tell._

"We're not," Alex mumbled. "Don't even think about it. Either of you. I'll do the thing with Snowstorm again, except I'll seriously fire some ice dust up there."

Elwood and Gilligan jointly resolved to shut up. It was time for sleep anyway.

_**A/N: Hey, hey, hey! What's up, folks? Because I'm goddamn tired! On a side note, I'm a cadet, and the other night I basically became King of the Marksmen insofar as the cadet world goes- which is kind of a big deal for me personally because the fine art of shooting black disks with a pellet rifle is my thing.**_

_**Now, on a more serious note, considering the attack on the Tomb in Ottawa yesterday, and the fact that it's about that time of year again and it's on my mind, I don't care who you are or where you live, go thank a veteran or a currently serving member. Sure, they don't put food on your plate or a roof over your head, but they did lay a country around you- kind of a big deal. So go express your gratitude, even if it's just by wearing the poppy. I say it as a cadet and I say it as just a guy, because in both of those roles, I feel like we should honor the men and women willing to lay down their lives for the rest of us.**_

_**If you actually bothered to read this author's note, thank you for wearing the poppy, and, if you happen to be a veteran or currently serving, then thank you, for all you've done for everyone else.**_


	9. Having Fun

_**A/N: A little advanced warning, there's some serious CUTE toward the end of the chapter. How so? You'll find out. Now shut up and review me.**_

_**§SS§**_

_Clink. Whrr. Bang. _Such were the noises in the forge at Beacon while he worked, sweating in the heat as he crafted a weapon. Beacon's workshop was mostly for major repair, but some students would craft new weapons here- usually talented smiths like Ruby Rose, or those predisposed toward having extras, like Alex Klein. Right now, he was, in fact, crafting a secondary weapon.

This was a rare thing among huntsmen and huntresses- most either used two weapons at once or only relied on their primary. But Alex felt it prudent to have a backup- or at least something he could carry without people knowing. Besides, he needed to clear his head. So here he was, machining a six-round cylinder for a .45-70* revolver on a Saturday afternoon. He already had a barrel and most of a handle- he wasn't sure what sort of wood he wanted for the furniture yet. _Ash would be good. Maybe birch? Oak is classic, but what about walnut or maple?_

"Are you seriously working right now?"

"Yes, Gilligan."

The least-liked member of their team sighed. "Alex, get the Hell outside and run around a little. For God's sake, man, don't keep yourself cooped up in the forge!"

"Since when do you care? And if you don't go, you'll be my test target," Alex grunted. "And forty-five-seventy hurts, last time I checked."

"I don't care. But Sierra's bribing me with Schneetos and Valic Dew if I cooperate."

"I thought she sent all her training allowance home."

"She does," Gilligan said. "Or she did. They keep sending half of it back, apparently. They're even more obstinate than she is, and she's given up. Now she only sends half away."

Alex chuckled. "Well, if she's desperate enough to spend money, I'll come out. Black Ice can wait, I guess..."

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, Alex was grudgingly in front of Sierra. "Wanna explain why you bribed Gilligan to drag me from the forge? I was making good progress."

"I dragged you out because stop cooping yourself up! Not every damn day off has to be spent on the range, in the woods, or at the anvil," she growled. "If you put half as much energy into your academics as you do into making guns and using them, you'd be a top student, I swear. And if you put a quarter of that energy into taking care of yourself, you'd probably be healthy. Now you're taking the rest of the day off, glorious leader."

"Aren't you the one always riding my ass in an unfun way about homework?" Alex grumbled. "And I'm plenty healthy!"

"Alex, have you heard your heartbeat after a run? It sounds like it's about to explode. Today, you're going to have fun."

"I was having fun," he pointed out, "until you made Gilligan your goon and had him come fetch me from my fun."

"You're going to have actual fun," she snarled. "We're going to walk in the woods, go eat ice cream, and play a few games of two-on-two basketball."

"Cut the ball and you've got a deal," he said with the sort of glare old sergeants fix new recruits with. It didn't phase her.

"Keep trying to barter and the basketball becomes road hockey."

"Do you really think you can drag me into this? I was happy with the forge until-"

She cut him off by grabbing him by the jacket and hauling him to face level. "Do you really want to fight me?"

He considered for a moment. "Not on a level field, no..."

"Then you're coming."

"But I don't-"

"Ah-ah-ah, none of the sass!"

"Yes, _mom."_

_**§SS§**_

An hour later, Sierra had dragged the men into the forest. The three of them looked displeased. They'd been fine with the way their days had been. Alex had been happy in the shop. Gilligan had been happy laying in bed doing nothing. Elwood had been happy reading his simple books. And now, this tiny, terrifying woman had dragged them out into the woods.

Gilligan was especially unhappy- he'd been promised payment, but was never told he'd have to tag along. He grumbled into his beard, cursing everything he could think of.

Elwood decided to make the best of it. He wasn't smart enough to think of a way out, so he resigned himself to trying to enjoy the woods.

Alex sullenly looked around for a means of escape, but found none- especially not with Sierra right by his side. He popped a few painkillers to ease his mounting headache. Everyone shuddered a little, not sure how the portly spearman could take pills dry.

"See?" Sierra asked. "Isn't this nice, guys?"

The answer was a resounding, unanimous "no."

"You guys are no fun..."

She felt the triple glare, but didn't show it.

And then, there were grimm.

_**§SS§**_

"Well, that takes care of that!" Alex said, dusting his hands off. "Now, what made you think _this _forest was a good idea?"

Sierra nudged a dead boartusk. "I dunno... It was bigger?"

"Sierra?"

"Yes, Gilligan?"

"You owe me more food now."

"I know, Gilligan."

"Good."

Elwood sighed and leaned against a tree, wiping sweat from his forehead with a silk handkerchief. Alex planted his forehead in the next tree, Snowstorm hanging by his side in rifle form. "Sierra," he said, "you had best unfuck this day, or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck."

"Try me, boy," she snarled.

"Oh, 'boy,' says the lolita!"

"Both of you shut up!" Gilligan roared. "Alex, I'm not even going to ask why you know what that means, but you're an asshole, and Sierra, you were the one who got us into this in the first place!"

"Oh, like you can talk about being an asshole, neckbeard!"

"It's not like you helped fight!"

"Guys...?" The three of them carried on bickering. It almost came to blows before Elwood shouted. "GUYS!"

Gilligan stopped mid-swing, but Alex half-assed nothing, sending Gilligan sprawling with a solid strike to the solar plexus. "What is it, Elwood?"

"Maybe we should go for that ice cream? Ice cream is nice."

Gilligan got up. "Nice change of subject, Elwood. Yeah, let's go get ice cream."

"Ice cream sounds good," Alex said.

"I almost forgot that. Let's go, then," Sierra said, putting Autumn Breeze away on her belt. "To the ice cream!"

The others repeated loudly. "Ice cream!"

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, the quartet arrived in the city, and hunted themselves down a cute little ice cream shop on the edge of a cliff. Alex and Gilligan both got themselves monstrous sundaes that looked suspiciously like diabetes and a heart attack in a bowl, while Sierra and Elwood decided on simple one-scoop cones of vanilla. Why they were eating ice cream in chilly late fall was beyond them, but they didn't care. It was ice cream, and it was tasty.

"I'm gonna turn my blood into fruit punch!" Alex declared as he dove in. Gilligan, for his part, consumed his treat without words. No speaking, only a very sticky neckbeard.

"... And he wonders why he's fat?" Sierra asked herself with disbelief.

Elwood shrugged. "He'll learn eventually. Or maybe he won't- we do usually burn off a lot day to day. We aren't exactly at desk jobs, or getting much of a desk education."

"You know, for the dumb guy, you're pretty smart," she muttered.

"Nah," the blond boy said with a shrug. "I'm just good at common sense is all. Everyone knows exercise burns off energy. But you should see me try and read, or look at my spelling before I get Alex to go over it."

Sierra sighed. "You know, Mama used to tell me everyone's a genius, but in a different way. Something about how we shouldn't judge a fish on its tree-climbing."

"Everyone's got a talent, right?"

"Something like that. Can't go making decisions about people based on stuff they were never meant to do. I'm not gonna judge you just 'cause you don't read well, Elwood. You're good at other stuff."

Elwood cocked his head. "That's the first time anyone's said anything like that to me. You're pretty ni-"

Spray from a submachine gun decided to interrupt them. Unfortunately for the suited goons who looked suspiciously like nightclub bouncers, one of the rounds had shattered the glass bowl of Alex's sundae. "_**Hell hath no fury like an Alex starved!**_"

_**§SS§**_

Less than five minutes later, half a dozen men in suits lay moaning, splayed in various unnatural positions on tables.

"I think I'm a paraplegic now."

"I can't feel my nose..."

"You don't even have a nose anymore."

"Oh God!"

"I think we're done here," Alex grunted, slapping some lein on the counter. "That should about cover the damaged dishes and the blood-mopping specialist, plus my food. I'm seriously sorry about this."

"No, no," grumbled the shop owner. "Not your fault. Seems to happen every bloody week. Maybe I should just ban Beacon students..."

"Sierra?"

"I know, Gilligan. I owe you more food. And I promise you, Alex, this day will be unfucked."

"Good," the two men grunted together.

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, the team ditched their sweaters and jackets in favor of t-shirts- this was about to get sweaty.

The basketball court was nothing more than a little hula hoop and some 2x4 nailed to a power pole on the street, but it would do. It was in Sierra's home neighborhood, so it was easy to borrow a ball from a few residents.

The game went on- Alex and Gilligan versus Elwood and Sierra, all three men grudgingly playing their best. To watch Beacon students play any sport was fascinating. They were a sight to behold, especially since they often made use of their auras, semblances, and combat training with Beacon's modified rules. Even pudgy Alex and relatively sedentary Gilligan were fast movers and high jumpers. The game stayed at no score for some time.

Eventually, Gilligan scored- and broke his nose on the pole in the process. At this point, they decided it was best to head back. The sky was beginning to darken anyway. They returned their ball and bid Sierra's friends goodnight. As they walked, Alex spoke up.

"Sierra?"

"Yeah?"

"This is your home neighborhood, right? Maybe we should drop in on your family."

Panic set in on the secret faunus. "What? Nah, they're probably still out. It's fine."

What she'd said was true enough, but her tone gave her teammates pause. None objected, though. Alex, however, took note.

Sierra stared at her home as they passed. It was in need of new paint, and the yard needed mowing, but it was home. She wished she could go inside for a moment, but she couldn't. Nobody could know what she was. She sighed, resolving to visit another day.

"Sierra?"

"Yes, Alex?"

"Today as a whole went wrong. We were attacked by grimm during your walk in the woods and Gilligan broke his face playing basketball. Even the damn ice cream turned crazy, because the fucking mob apparently has a hit out on someone. This day would have been fine if you hadn't been so insistent."

"I get it, I should have let you guys be. And next time, I will."

"You owe us. All three of us."

"Alex, come on. None of it was really her fault," Elwood moaned. "Can't we leave her alone?"

Alex sighed. "Fine."

Sierra grunted. "Alex? You're in my bed tonight. I at least owe you a little affection. I almost got you killed by a street gang today because I wanted ice cream."

"I'm not arguing."

"And they still insist they're not together?" Elwood asked incredulously.

"Alex and Sierra, sitting in a tree-"

"Gilligan, I'll fuckin' wreck you."

_**§SS§**_

That night, Sierra woke Alex up. The moonlight shone through the window and lit their faces, and she put a finger to his lips, a signal to keep quiet.

She slipped out of bed, and gestured for him to follow. He did so, curiosity reigning. She led him out the door and down the hall, presumably under the guise of going to the bathroom. Amazingly, like everything else at Beacon, the bathrooms were unisex, meaning that both genders shared the facility, although they did have separate shower rooms within the bathrooms. As such, it wasn't an unusual sight when they walked into the same bathroom door.

"Alex," she said once they were in, "there's something you should know..." Bang. A stall door opened. "What are you doing?"

Alex kicked in another stall door. "I assume this is for my ears only. Can't have anyone else hearing. If you're willing to wake the beast before it's even sunrise, it's important."

She nodded and shrugged. Once Alex said it was clear, she started again, slowly undoing her pigtails. "I'm not what you think I am..."

"You're a dog faunus, aren't you?"

Sierra looked shocked. "Wait, how would you know?!"

"Well, it started when you smelled like wet dog after that rainstorm. The there's the way you look at stray cats, not to mention you're incredibly affectionate. But the real clincher was when I woke up earlier tonight and decided to play with your hair, and found no ears where they would be on a human. All this combined could only mean one thing."

"Why didn't you ever say anything?!"

"Because people are entitled to their secrets. It's true, I'm an eavesdropper and a general spy and information dealer, but I make an exception with things like this. Kate breaking up with boyfriend number six isn't a big deal, and that asshole Brandon cheating on his girl is worth good money. But you're my friend, and people finding out you're a faunus could mean a lot more than a slap across the face for an unfaithful man. It could ruin whatever plans you have in place for the future. Now, _is _there a reason you keep it secret?"

Sierra sighed. "Yeah, there is. I'm going to be the best there is, and let everyone think I'm human. Then, bang. Celebrity huntress Sierra Smalls reveals herself as a faunus. I want to show people that fauni are just as good as humans."

"It's one of the better ideas I've heard. Definitely hella better than blowing up trains until you get better hours. What possessed the White Fang to think _that _would work better than negotiating?"

"I don't know," she sighed.

"Now, why did you tell me all this?"

"Because I trust you. I've seen how you feel about fauni. And you're a good friend."

He grabbed hold of her, reeling her into a tight hug. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Trust me, I do. Now loosen up a bit, before you break my spine?"

"Sorry," he murmured sheepishly, releasing pressure. On a whim, he spoke again. "... Wanna prove Gilligan and Elwood right for once?"

"What do you even mean by that?"

"I mean come here and kiss me," he growled, ears turning red. "Do I have to spell it all out?"

She blushed back at him, eyes wide in shock. "You're shitting me. Unfuck yourself."

"I'm dead serious, Sierra. It's worth a shot. We really do act enough like it anyway," he laughed.

She grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down to her face level. "Fine. Don't fuck it up," she said, hauling him closer. She pushed him back to a wall, and planted her lips on his, the both of them red as beets, standing there sucking face in their pyjamas, in the bathroom. They got even redder when the wise old janitor came mopping on by.

"Hey, get outta here!" Jones shouted. "Go on, GET. I'm happy for ya, now get moving so I can do my job."

They fled holding hands, dragging one another back to bed to keep going. About half a minute into their little liplock under the covers, the lights came on. "Hah, I knew it!"

"_**Gilligan, I'm gonna kill you!**_"

And like that, a man and his neckbeard were flung from the third story of Beacon's dorms by a woman half the man's size, a relationship began, and Elwood disgruntledly turned off the lights, muttering at everyone to go back to sleep. The new couple did so happily.

_**§SS§**_

_*** I'm making the assumption that Remnant firearms run on the same sizing systems as ours when I say these things. This is to be kept in mind for all future chapters and indeed all my stories.**_

_**I hope you enjoyed. Now throw me a frickin' bone here and review!**_


	10. You! Part I: A Rival Team

"You!"

"Oh, not you."

Alex snarled at the person opposite him. She was a tall woman, pushing seven feet in height, with pale skin and a sneer to match the haughtiest Schnee. She was thick about the hips, with a large chest that was stretching her shirt more than a little. Her bright green eyes oozed hate, as did Alex's grays.

"What are they to one another?" Sierra asked. Elwood and Gilligan shrugged in unison.

Both were visibly bristling. AGES had collided with this other team of four in the hallway on a Monday evening, and the situation was heating up. One of them had now caught Gilligan's eye, and they were glaring at one another as well. His opposite was a fit blond boy, clean-shaven, dark of skin and dressed up in a v-neck cardigan, fancy designer jeans and square-toed dress shoes. "I don't know you, but I don't like you," the neckbeard growled.

Sierra looked around desperately, hoping for a peaceful resolution to whatever this was, until she spied her own counterpart, a veritable giant of a boy who looked as though he ate more chocolate than anything else, with long, blond curls and mean, beady eyes. "Well, someone eats well," she hissed.

Elwood, however, was shaking hands with his counterpart, exchanging names and scroll numbers. They looked like bookends, Elwood light and the other dark. Neither noticed the evident hostility.

"What the Hell are you doing here, Laura?" Alex snapped.

"The same thing you are, Alex," the tall woman replied. "Becoming a huntress. Although I doubt you'll get far, with this team. A little girl, a neckbeard, and an idiot. Come on!"

"Oh, shut up," he snarled, bristling. "What've you got? Some great ball of fat, a pretty boy who's probably afraid to crack his nail, and... Well, an idiot."

"So we're even on one count," she said with a smirk. "We're Team LASR now. Our 'A' is Andrew, the guy you just called a ball of fat. The 'S' is Sampson, my 'pretty boy.' The 'R' is Randall, who... Who seems to be making good friends."

"Huh. Your name is first. That means that, by some miracle, you're the leader. We're AGES. Gilligan is the neckbeard, and Elwood is his pet idiot. Sierra is the 'little girl' who's going to kill Gilligan eventually."

"You speak so kindly of your team," Laura said, rolling her eyes.

Alex started a retort when the janitor walked by. "Don't start fighting. I am _not _cleaning up blood. It is a Monday. I am going to go drink. You will not make a mess," he growled, shoving his mop in Laura's face. She started to protest, but the mop quickly became a dust-powered energy canon. That shut all eight of them down, and they dispersed, each leader vowing to settle the score.

Sierra piped up immediately once they returned to the dorm. "What was up with you?"

"An old enemy," Alex grunted in explanation. "Did you even know the fat guy? You were looking like you were going to murder him."

"No. He just seems like a great big glutton. And then there's people starving."

"I dunno if you've noticed," Gilligan said flatly, "but your boyfriend could eat for an army."

"He's also not a huge piece of shit who does it all the time."

"Guys, maybe he has a glandular problem," Alex suggested. "Fuck, calm down."

"This from the guy who tore someone's nose off over ice cream," Gilligan said, letting the absurdity speak for itself.

"He also shot at me. Context."

"Anyway," Elwood cut in, "I don't see the big deal. They seem nice enough."

Alex's eyes narrowed. "You haven't known Laura long enough. You'll see."

_**§SS§**_

The next morning, Alex and Sierra woke to find Elwood and Gilligan gone. The more literate of the two had left a note, explaining something about an early shower. "Looks like we have the room to ourselves," she mused. "Also, no. Pervert."

"Wow, yeah, let's just make assumptions," he replied, dripping with sarcasm. "I was thinking I'd strip down and get nasty with my girlfriend of less than a week. Damn, Sierra, not every guy just wants in your pants."

She gave him a gentle shove. "Oh, shut the fuck up. But Tuesday is always a late start- Professor Candourous always shows up late. Even that psycho doesn't want to get up after a Monday. We _do _have time."

"So shut up and kiss me. Idiot."

She gladly obliged. In the short time since their first kiss, she'd grown much gentler, but she was still insistent with her tongue. Fortunately, her human partner was a big softie, and more than happy to melt into his smaller friend's arms. How she could support him, being six inches shorter and nearly forty pounds lighter, was a mystery. When they broke, he kissed her forehead, and suggested that they go follow their teammates for a shower.

She agreed, and minutes later, they parted ways to go to the separate shower rooms, leaving one another with a kiss on the cheek. Alex's shower was uneventful. Sierra's was not. As she stepped under the relieving hot stream, she heard an annoying, familiar baritone voice.

"Hey, it's the titless wonder," Laura drawled. "Finally hop off your boyfriend to wash up?"

"At least I have one, you pasty skank," she retorted, running the washcloth over her own skin, a lightly tanned shade of something or other. Her big, blue eyes just radiated annoyance.

"Actually, I do have one, and mine is prettier."

"The lard ball?"

"No, not him. Good God, no. Sampson."

Sierra snorted in laughter. "Wow, I'm not sure which one of you to feel sorry for!"

"You wanna end here in this shower, bitch?"

"Try me, you shallow cunt."

Just in time to save the shower from what would have been a catastrophic fight, Pyrrha Nikos walked in. "Is something the matter? You two should settle it somewhere else. Everyone else just wants a peaceful shower," the champion sighed. "Please?"

"Fine," they grumbled together. "But this isn't over."

Sierra decided she liked Alex's old enemy about as much as he did.

_**§SS§**_

Later that morning- nearly halfway through first period- Professor Candourous walked into his classroom. He was tall and thin, and very, very gray. His long hair, braided down his back, was gray, as were his eyes, his clothes, and even his flesh. His glasses even had gray frames. He was not old- in fact, he was very nearly of an age with the students, only twenty-two years old- but simply very, very gray indeed.

He eschewed the usual formal wear of professors, instead opting for a tracksuit and sneakers. His subject was battlefield medicine, which would have been difficult enough to learn with a sane professor, but became nearly impossible with Candourous' antics. He set his weapon- a short sword with the ability to become a large-caliber submachine gun- on his desk and took to his chair, leaning back and calling roll, last name with a preferred initial. Everyone answered with "sir." Candourous was very particular about that. The unfortunate boy who'd responded with "yeah" on the first day had been flattened by a thrown encyclopedia. He only did it once.

Most were beginning to think that Ozpin only allowed Candourous to teach because he was one of the very few to know what he was talking about when it came to the subject at hand. His wealth of knowledge concerning his subjects was pretty much his only saving grace as a teacher.

"Now," he began in his usual drone, "yesterday afternoon, we were talking about environmental effects on health in the field, such as..."

The professor went on. Sierra and Alex were coming closer on the benches, and eventually, she wound up in his lap, the two of them holding one another tight.

"... Yes, actually, Mister Klein and Miss Smalls, sharing body heat like that is an excellent way to treat hypothermia! However, considering that your hypothermia is more emotional than physical, I'm going to have to ask you to treat it on your own time instead of mine. By this, I obviously mean that if you don't start paying attention to this lecture, you will die, either because I lose my patience or because you won't have learned any of this when the time comes that you need it."

The flustered couple separated themselves hastily, among much laughter from the other students. "Thank you very much. Now, can I be in charge for a while? Yes? Excellent. Now, since they've so kindly provided an example of a good treatment for hypothermia, I'm going to explain why something slower like that is a better treatment than, say, sitting the casualty in front of a roaring fire... ... _Are you allowed to eat jelly donuts in my class?!_"

Andrew shrugged, and continued to eat.

"Mister Rogers, put the damn donuts away or I'll put them in the other end."

Andrew's donuts vanished quite rapidly. "Now," Candourous explained, "as I was saying, the 'gradually' part of gradually warming up your casualty is important because sudden changes can have a very adverse effect on the bodies of both humans and fauni, as well as those of grimm and really all life forms..."

The rest of the class seemed to take forever. Then, the glorious bell rang. Alex and Sierra immediately grabbed hold of one another for the walk to Port's room.

"Remember, class," Candourous shouted, "you have a test on open wound treatment tomorrow! Fail the written, and I'll use you as the test subjects for the practical!"

_**§SS§**_

Port was a boring man, it must be said. Good, kind, and even wise beneath his exterior, but boring. Even attentive folks like Weiss and Sierra could be seen beginning to nod off, and Alex had long since spaced out, half listening to the professor and half daydreaming about Sierra's lips like a love-drunk idiot. He was having real trouble keeping his eyes open with those thoughts, his hands keeping themselves busy toying with a pretty red pen.

"... Isn't that right, Mister Klein?"

"... Eh?"

Port furrowed his brow, while Laura snickered in the background. "Have you not been paying attention to my tales? The way I dealt with that ursa set a precedent, you know!"

"Yes, sir, but you've told this story before," he pointed out. "Even the greatest tales can become tiresome if you're regaled with them often enough. Which I believe is actually something you told us at one point."

Port's expression became a smile. "Ah, good, so you do pay attention in my class! Or, at least, more so than it seems..."

"Far more."

"Good lad! Now, as I was asking-"

"The best person to deal with larger grimm directly is the team's heavy weapons specialist- or specialists. That could mean Sierra, or it could be Coco or Yang. Could be Nora, or Cardin. In fact, I think we have more heavies than anything else. This is a question you've asked before, sir. Are you feeling well?"

Yang could be heard protesting about how Ember Celica didn't count as a heavy weapon, but the professor spoke over her. "Of course I'm fine! Whate... Whatever..."

It was then that Professor Port fainted. "Oh, damn it," Alex grumbled, while someone else screamed for a medic. The call quickly brought in Professor Candourous- and his entire class.

"Excellent," the gray man murmured. "Class, we have a live test subject! Can anyone tell me what may be wrong with Professor Port?"

"Anxiety?"

"Stroke?"

"Heart attack?"

"Shock?"

Candourous approached his colleague. Finding signs of life- breathing and a heartbeat, namely- he decided to examine other aspects. After feeling Port's hand for a few moments, he stood up and made a declaration. "Nothing to worry about, children. He's just got severe dehydration and heat stroke."

"You call that nothing to worry about?!" Weiss could be heard to ask. Alex groaned, and Candourous began treating his coworker.

"This may take a while. You all have the last five minutes of class off. Make good use of it."

The class scrambled out, wasting no time in gathering in social groups. And LASR and AGES wasted no time in butting heads when Alex and Laura tried to walk through the door at the same time. "Oh, hey there, fat fuck."

"What's up, skank?"

They made it into the hall. And then, she took a swing at him. He moved aside fast enough, and their teams joined in as he hauled forward with a kick to the knees that made his old enemy grunt in pain before delivering a slug to his chest that knocked his wind out.

Then, there was a loud noise and a bright flash that set everyone's ears ringing and eyes stinging. Professor Candourous walked around the corner of the door, removing his earplugs while several fauni screeched and clutched bleeding ears. Even in this madness, Sierra had the presence of mind to keep her secret by not grabbing for the appendages on her head, but Velvet and Cherry seemed especially affected, whimpering on the ground.

He gave everyone a moment to recover and scream variations of "what the fuck?" before he spoke.

"That was a flashbang. You'll all be fine in a few minutes and totally recovered in an hour or less, although I'd suggest that any fauni go see the nurse- hearing damage isn't really in my area of expertise. Now that the fighting has stopped, teams AGES and LASR will both report to my classroom after classes today for a one-hour detention, as punishment for causing a disturbance, fighting without authorization, and making me waste a fucking flashbang. Those are not cheap."

The professor trotted off back to his work while Elwood set himself fixing eardrums- fauni first, since their sensitive ears had likely suffered the most damage. It was fortunate that he didn't have to focus on exactly what he was healing- otherwise he might have found out about Sierra.

By the time they were all moving again, the bell for the next class had rung. They scrambled to it. Fortunately, Professor Goodwitch was forgiving, where Candourous' antics were concerned, and understood what had happened when the entire class stumbled in murmuring about ringing ears.

The rest of the day went normally, or as close to normally as a day at Beacon can possibly go, and that, of course, means that three separate professors screamed and threw encyclopedias, two more scuffles broke out, and one entire room wound up needing replacing after a JNPR-related incident. After that, it was time for AGES and LASR to report to Candourous.

"I trust you didn't do anything else exceptionally stupid today," the professor said tensely. "No, no. Don't sit down."

They all looked at him, confused. All eight of them were befuddled. "But, sir," Elwood started before he was interrupted.

"Mister Agani, kindly _shut the Hell up._ Now, as I was saying, I need you all changed into your combat clothes. Whatever it is you wear on missions. Conventional detention involves you eight sitting around not improving on the problem that put you here. Corrective measures work better than punishments. So instead of sitting here with your mouths shut for an hour, you're going to sort your differences on the battlefield in a controlled fight like civilized people. Next time you eight want to have at one another, just ask me to supervise the fight or go spar after hours like normal people. Go, change. Move!"

The two teams shook their shock out and scrambled. All had returned within ten minutes. The walk to what people referred to as the tourney grounds was another twenty. The tourney grounds were a vast section of Beacon's land. There were multiple firing ranges, sparring areas for single combat, spectator seating, a medical center, and a large swath of thin forest that served the purpose of hosting the melees, both team and individual.

The tourney grounds were used not only for major events like the Vytal Festival, but also for Beacon's own regular events, such as the Beacon Academy Fair that took place at the end of every school year, certain holiday celebrations, and some parts of the school's winter carnival. For most of these events, the grounds were filled with booths and stalls, but today was not such a day.

No, today was a day that AGES and LASR would make use of the woods for a team-on-team match. The forest would never be the same.

_**§SS§**_

It didn't take long to put the teams on opposite ends of the woods. The professor's voice came over a series of speakers set up for this purpose. "Teams AGES and LASR, you have five minutes to get a strategy together. Then, you will have fifteen to finish one another. If the fight isn't decisively concluded on its own, I will declare a winning side myself at the end. Go!"

_**§SS§**_

_**Well, here's the latest chapter! Stay tuned and OH MY GOD REVIEW for the next the thrilling, hilarious installment of The Adventures of Team AGES! Also, review. The button is right there. Seriously, five seconds, guys. It shows a lot more than a fav. In any case, I hope you enjoyed it!**_


	11. You! Part II: Battle and Reconcile

"Go!"

The two teams rushed into deliberations over their strategies. Alex took charge with AGES, but, surprisingly, Andrew was the one to do it with LASR. The five minutes passed quickly, and Candourous' voice came over the speakers again. "Your time is up! Fight!"

His voice was cut off when the music came in. _"War! Hu! What is it good for?"_

"Are you fucking serious?" Alex grumbled as he darted off to take his position among the trees. Gilligan laughed hysterically as he and Elwood bounded off down the path to where they knew LASR was situated. He found the music appropriate for ironic reasons. But there was no time to dwell on that, was there? No, it was time for some fun.

_**§SS§**_

"Sometimes I swear Candourous does this shit just for the humor value," Laura grumbled as she hopped through the trees.

Andrew, Sampson, and Randall, meanwhile, were waiting for AGES to come to them. Their leader wasn't long out of sight before they were rewarded for their patience. Gilligan and Elwood burst through the dying brush, the latter peppering them with varied shot and slugs while the former began to savage Sampson with a vengeance, clinging to the good-looking blond and slashing and stabbing savagely. Candourous interrupted the music long enough to declare the pretty boy out of the fight with his aura in the red. Gilligan hopped off, and he and Elwood started running for their lives.

Randall and Andrew chased after them, swinging a greatsword and a maul, respectively. Occasionally, one AGES member or the other would turn and fire a few rounds, just to keep it going. Eventually, they led their pursuit across a narrow bridge. They crossed much faster than the young men they were leading, and it was then that Sierra stepped out from behind a tree and laid into them at the choke point with Autumn Breeze, the heavy explosive dust projectiles wearing their auras down rapidly and causing massive damage to the scenery besides, destroying the bridge as well as Andrew.

Unfortunately, Randall made it across, and Sierra found herself on the ground, following a rather sharp impact to her chest that was almost certainly from a large-calibre sniper rifle. It wore down even her considerable aura quite a bit, and knocked her prone long enough for two subsequent shots to send her into the red zone while Randall assailed both of her teammates with unbelievable skill for someone of his intelligence level.

One hard swing threw Gilligan from his feet, blowing his aura into the red zone from the yellow where it had been left after the scuffle with Sampson. Elwood was left to stand against his darker-skinned counterpart, blond and black hair blowing gently in the breeze. The Agani heir made the first move, a simple swipe with his axe across Randall's midsection. The other idiot, of course, was able to stop such a move cold, only to spin and return with a horizontal slash of his own, one that sent Elwood into the yellow. Unfortunately for the LASR member, this left him open to a hard overhand chop that cut his aura down nearly to yellow.

He responded with a hard boot to the chest that shoved Elwood backwards, followed up with a downward slash that pushed the handsome fool nearly into the red. Elwood had just enough time to put Randall into the yellow with a sidelong hack before one stab put him into the red and out of the fight. Randall looked very proud, until he caught three ice dust projectiles to his chest, and fell into the red.

Alex grinned, satisfied with his work. Now it was just him and Laura, he supposed. He looked through his scope at the woods around him, seeking a sign of his old rival, when a bullet that could only be hers whizzed by his head and exploded into the tree behind him. "Yeah, that's her!"

He rolled out of the tree branches, and started a mad dash for another position, but it seemed everywhere he turned there was a bullet striking the ground before him- leaving the marksman no choice but to run toward his enemy to engage in close quarters. Just the way he didn't like it. Just the way he knew that she knew she could win. He flipped Snowstorm into the spear form, and made a beeline for the place he thought she was.

It turned out he was right. She was waiting in a convenient clearing, leaning on her halbred-anti-material rifle hybrid. "There he is."

"Come on, Laura, I was expecting you to be stupid and take me on where I'm better."

"Not a chance in Hell," she grunted, taking the first swing. It was easy for him to catch her polearm in a clumsy sideways swing, but he'd fallen for the oldest ruse in the book, he realized as her foot collided with his sternum. The blow sent him reeling, back into a tree. She pressed the attack, jabbing at him with the tip of her weapon. Pinned as he was against the wood, it was all he could do to dodge the repeated blows, until misfortune struck the woman and her halbred hit tree, the tip lodging in the thick trunk. It provided just enough of a delay for Alex to move behind Laura.

He took the ample advantage his position offered, delivering a powerful downward stroke that drove her aura halfway into the yellow. Unfortunately, the delay was not long enough for him to continue. She dislodged her weapon, and took a jab at him again. This time, it struck home, leveling the playing field by bringing the pudgy boy's aura down to the same level.

"I guess you haven't let yourself slip," Alex said with a grin.

"Same goes for you," Laura replied, matching his expression. "Good to see you're still good for something after all.

"Oh, shut up and fight me," he shot back. She obliged gladly, pressing the offensive again, with graceful, flowing, constant motion, each strike leading into the next, her rapid pacing allowing no reprieve for her rival, who struggled to keep the weapon's head away from himself.

For the most part, he managed to deflect or block her attacks, but some slipped through. Fortunately for him, he managed a similar number of counterattacks, darting forward just enough to drive the tip of his weapon home. However, he was weakening, and her last blow knocked his weapon from his hands. With his aura very nearly in the red zone of defeat, it seemed Alex stood no chance.

Holding the weapon just under its head, she pushed the tip to his throat. "Looks like I win." She gave her old rival a confident grin, until she felt cold steel through her shirt, pressing itself into her guts.

"Oh really?" Alex asked. She didn't have time to react to the finishing blow. Black Ice, Alex's pet project and secondary weapon, blew a hole in her aura that bowled her over and took her aura from halfway through yellow all the way down into the red with one squeeze of the trigger. He gave the revolver an affectionate nuzzle and kissed its front sights. "Shouldn't have taken the time to gloat. You really had me there, you know."

"You haven't lost your touch one damned bit. Fuck you."

"Ditto."

He collapsed on to his back, still holding the weapon. He was exhausted, but still conscious enough to hear Candourous' voice over the speakers installed in the trees. "With twenty seconds to spare, Team AGES are the winners!" Then, he allowed himself to sleep, right there on the forest floor.

_**§SS§**_

When Alex woke, it was in his own bed, with a pounding headache and blurry vision. "Here," came Sierra's voice, distant and distorted. "Drink some water."

He sat up, holding his head, just long enough to pour some liquid down his throat and collapse again. Gradually, his senses returned to focus. "Damn, man, you kicked ass." That was definitely Gilligan. "We saw the footage earlier. Didn't think you were actually that good."

"Is he okay?"

"Do I fuckin' look okay, Elwood?" Alex groaned as his sight finally began working properly again. "But who cares? We won."

"Yeah, well, don't die. It'll be a hollow victory if I lose my boyfriend."

"Yeah, yeah. 'One more such victory and I shall return to Vale alone' and all that crap."

"Be more careful with yourself, idiot."

"Hey, now, which of us is actually passing battlefield medicine?"

"... You are."

"Yes. Yes I am," Alex grunted haughtily.

"Yes. And now you're going to be the one explaining things. Like Laura. What are you two?"

"Enemies."

"Don't fuck with me, Alex! I don't need smart tone from you!" Sierra snapped.

"Fine, fuckstick! She's my ex-girlfriend. Happy?"

"... No."

"This is why I didn't want to answer."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because of this exact thing. Look, you wanna know why we fight one another so hard? Fuckin' listen, I've got a story... But first... Sierra, you've seen me shirtless?"

"What?! No!"

Alex sat up again, and peeled away his shirt, pointing to three old, broad, long, ugly scars on his gut. "Well, it's relevant! See those? Ursa. I was in the hospital at the time, because I decided to try something stupid. Here we go."

_**§SS§**_

_Alex and his Signal class were out on a training exercise. The spear wielder was far pudgier than his Beacon self, about fourteen at the time. He heard a distant roar, and identified an ursa as the source. Calling for help, he picked up the newly-forged Snowstorm and rushed toward it, running even harder when the grimm's roar was followed up by what could only be a little girl's scream._

_Few followed- namely Laura, his girlfriend at the time, Yang Xiao Long, and two professors, all trailing behind him. He was a huntsman, or would be someday. It was his duty to do this, he thought._

_When he found his target, he immediately pressed the attack- a mistake, one he made like the young idiot he was. The massive creature knocked away his weapon and swiped him across the torso with its claws. The pain was blinding, and he fell unconscious. The last thing he saw before his vision cut out, leaning up against the tree he'd crashed into, was the little girl in its jaws, blood staining her pretty pink dress, and the professors and advanced students rushing forth to help._

_When he came to, it was in a hospital bed. His guts felt like they were on fire. He groaned in agony. The groan died when Laura came in. The girl was bearing him flowers. Even at that young age, being his girlfriend afforded her the privilege of seeing him alone but for the other patients and the hospital staff, before the rest of the class. She laid the blossoms, red and white and black, on his nightstand. "I was so worried, Alex..."_

_The boy responded with laughter, chuckling at first, but building into a roar that woke his napping neighbors. When he finally died down, his wounds had reopened, soaking his bandages. "Laura? Get the fuck out. And take your damned flowers with you. Give them to someone you have time for."_

_Laura looked shocked, tears coming to her eyes. "Alex..."_

_"Go, damn it, get moving! Every time I so much as wanna hold your hand, you're too embarrassed, every time I wanted to watch a movie, you had something else planned, but now that I'm in the hospital, you give a shit? That doesn't fucking fly with me. We're done. Go!"_

_Laura ran from the room like... Well, an emotional schoolgirl, taking the flowers with her as she went. Alex huffed his relief, while a shocked nurse changed his bandages and admonished him for his language. He didn't care. It was worth the pain and the scolding to be done with her. _

_**§SS§**_

"Wow," Gilligan grumbled. "Fourteen-year-old you was a piece of shit."

"No wonder she hates you," Sierra grunted.

"I agree with them," Elwood said, looking away. "You should go apologize."

"Oh, because that'll do me good!"

"It'll do your soul good," the idiot replied.

"It'll do the warmth of your bed good, too," Sierra said. He took her meaning and sighed, replacing his shirt as he got up.

"Fine, damn it, fine! And for the record, fourteen-year-old everyone is a piece of shit for the most part."

"What about Ruby?" Sierra asked.

"The exception that proves the rule, I guess. Like I said, it's for the most part."

Gilligan piped up and gave a sadistic grin. "Shouldn't you be talking to your ex?"

"Gilligan, I will end you."

_**§SS§**_

Some time later, Alex was knocking on LASR's door. "God damn it Laura, lemme in!"

The door flew open, and the woman behind it greeted him with a punch in the gut that made him grunt. "What do you want, asshole? Come to gloat?" Laura asked. Her eyes were definitely red, and her makeup streaked by tears.

_Oh, sweet fuck, she's been crying. _"You remember two years ago in the hospital?"

"Yes, you slimy shit," she spat. "What about it?"

"I know it's a little late," he said. "But..."

"But what?"

Alex grimaced and swallowed his pride. "I don't care if this doesn't mean anything to you. But I'm sorry."

"You say that as if it changes what you said back then. You're still my asshole ex."

"It doesn't," he sighed. "I started the shit that led up to today. I just wanted to get the regret off my damn chest. It's been sitting there, unmoving, like Gilligan, but fatter. For two years."

"Hey!"

"Oh, shut up. Anyway, unless you had something to say... Ow!"

Laura had wrapped him up in a bear hug. "You insufferable idiot!"

"Laura! My spine! I need that!"

Sierra coughed uncomfortably. Laura failed to notice for a good ten seconds, but let go of Alex in a blush once she did. "Guess it's my turn to say sorry... For that bear hug and all the shit I pulled. I kinda did ruin your life for the first year, with all the rumors. But this doesn't change anything," she said. "We're still not friends. Rivals at best."

"I'm alright with that. Everyone needs a rival, right?"

"Damned right," Laura replied with a grin. "Next time, I'm gonna kick your ass."

"I wouldn't bet on it," he replied, returning the cocky smile. "But we'll see. You can actually give me a fight, so there's something there."

"Oh, go the Hell home," the big woman groaned, rolling her eyes as Sierra hugged Alex from behind. "Your girlfriend wants to do horribly embarrassing things to you."

"Yes, I do. So let's move."

_**§SS§**_

"I'm so proud of you!" Sierra exclaimed, peppering Alex's cheeks and faces with kisses while he squirmed, pinned to the wall. Gilligan and Elwood were rolling on the floor, laughing themselves to tears.

"Help me, you assholes!"

They stopped laughing, and looked him in the eyes. Then, they burst out again, pounding the floor.

"You look pretty damned happy to me!" Gilligan roared.

Alex groaned. It was going to be a long night for him.


	12. Mystery Box

_**A/N: I'd like to address a couple of complaints. The first is about language- mostly the foul kind. I don't know about any of you, but where I'm from, that's how high school students actually speak among themselves. If you don't appreciate it, you can do this neat little thing where you turn on the profanity filter or just don't read the story. As for Professor Candourous- do you really think that the kind of man who uses a flashbang to break up a fight really cares about language? He's not exactly meant to be sane, responsible, or professional. As was mentioned, he only gets to keep his job because he'd be too hard to replace.**_

_**The second is about the minor deviation from canon concerning faunus biology and the ears. I took note that fauni with horns all seem to have human ears, but it seems redundant to have both animal and human ears in the case of folks like Blake, Velvet, or, more relevant to this story, Sierra. It's also just something I never noted with Blake and Velvet. As far as I saw, they only had animal ears, so I made the assumption that they wouldn't have human ones as well, in much the same way that I see someone has two working legs and assume that they don't have a prosthetic laying around.**_

_**With this said, I'd like to thank the people who actually took time to read and review. It means a lot to me. Now enjoy the show!**_

_**§SS§**_

"Hey, look at this!" Elwood exclaimed, bursting into the room with a flyer, torn around the edges. "There's a tournament tomorrow afternoon, and we have the day off! The prize is a hundred thousand lein! If one of us wins, we can split it four ways!"

"No," Alex said flatly. "We wouldn't even get through the qualifiers and it probably costs money just to enter."

Sierra took the paper from Elwood. "Actually," the little faunus said, "it's a mostly open tournament, and the entry fee is only twenty lein per person. They must be selling tickets, too. Plus there's probably some betting going on."

Gilligan took it next. "Yeah, and it's not open to anyone who's won an official tournament before! That leaves out people like Pyrrha Nikos or Nora Valkyrie. Pyrrha... Well, duh. And Nora won this one last year. That counts."

"That also leaves us to compete against the likes of Team RWBY, Coco, Velvet, Lie Ren, Team LASR, and even _Candourous._ We wouldn't make it," the spearman said bluntly. "It's a waste of our lein."

"It's never a waste!" Sierra declared. "We're at least going to try. Besides, Candourous said he had things to do this weekend- something about tribbles and fire."

"He disturbs me," Gilligan murmured. "But tribbles disturb me more. They're so tiny, but there's always a fucking million of them."

"Fire is really the only effective way of dealing with them," Alex agreed. "But fine. We'll go enter this stupid tournament. If nothing else, it's something to do."

Sierra clapped happily. "Right after classes. You're not using this as an excuse to skip."

_**§SS§**_

The next morning, Alex sighed his way down to the tourney grounds. Sierra had been right- admission fees seemed to be the same as entry fees. However, as participants, they were allowed directly in. They had an hour to mill among the other contestants.

Alex spotted a few imposing figures- Team LOSE's Oscar, for instance, a formidable dust and aura user with a special penchant for wind, small but mighty. Others included Cardin Winchester and even, as AGES had been collectively afraid, Coco. It would be a hard win, if they somehow managed to win at all. "It's not looking good."

"No, it's not. How is any of us going to beat Coco? She's two years ahead of us and I've heard some scary rumors about that handbag," Elwood said, shivering.

Gilligan grunted. "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Let's go check the listings."

They found the posted papers via the crowd gathering around them. They pushed their way to the front and began searching for their own names. Elwood was paired with Oscar, Gilligan with Cardin, and Sierra and Alex were both paired with nobodies.

Gilligan was the only one on the team to lose their first fight. Beaten and battered, he took a resentful seat in the stands to watch. Surprisingly, Coco was also eliminated in the initial matches- her opponent had simply been too fast for her, of all things, although some were whispering that she'd thrown the match, which seemed more plausible.

The next round, Alex found himself faced off with someone seemingly selected with the express intent of countering him, a gigantic hand-to-hand fighter known only as Toad. The man was easily pushing eight feet in height, and was musclebound from head to toe. Steel gauntlets covered his enormous fists, and his cold eyes looked into one's soul from under his slicked-back blond hair.

Toad had every advantage. He was bigger, stronger, and could fight close enough that Alex would have trouble striking. The bigger man charged directly at his opponent. Alex brought Snowstorm to bear, and drove the tip into Toad's chest, confused by his straightforwardness. The giant's aura absorbed the blow with little effort, and a mailed hand knocked the spear away while the other drove itself into the spearman's chest, throwing him off his feet and knocking his weapon to the side.

Alex reached under his coat and drew Black Ice. He emptied the six rounds into Toad's face and chest, moving away from the crushing stomp he was about to be delivered and retrieving his primary weapon before holstering his pistol. Now Alex's aura was deep in the yellow, but Toad's was still green, although substantially closer to changing color than it had been moments ago.

Alex flipped his weapon into rifle form- he was going to have to do this at a distance. He leapt out of the way of a smack, and placed two rounds in his opponent's gut, finally bringing him into the yellow, only to be backhanded across the arena and watch as his aura dropped into the red on the screen. He groaned, and got up. He found Toad offering his hand for a shake, and took it.

His larger adversary's hand practically enveloped his own, but the shake was dignified. Alex retreated to the stands, and noted as he watched that Toad seemed to shake the hands of all his foes. In spite of just having been trounced by him, the sniper grew a respect for the man's sense of dignity. He liked it.

_**§SS§**_

After a few more matches, it was Sierra's turn. She got herself paired with Cardin, of all people. She'd seen him pick on timid little Velvet, and she was seething with anger as soon as she saw him.

Cardin laughed as soon as he saw her. "A little girl? Are you kidding me?!"

"Little girl's gonna kick your ass seven ways 'til Sunday," she growled in response. Cardin didn't take the threat seriously. That was a bad decision. When the fight started, she charged him down almost immediately. Her first vicious overhand swing was blocked, but it left the bigger man's arms numb.

When her weapon bounced off of his, he threw all his weight into a horizontal swing that took her in the ribs. It put quite a dent in her aura, but somehow didn't move her. She took the opportunity to drive her fist into his chin. The impact made a sickening crunch, and took a sizable chunk out of Cardin's own aura. She followed it up by bringing Autumn Breeze into his guts, the blow denting his armor and doubling him over long enough for her to complete her combo with a downward swing that connected with his skull and flattened him.

The little faunus wanted to make this fair, so it would be more humiliating, so she stepped back long enough for the bully, his aura deep into the yellow now, to get up. This was a mistake. Cardin was faster than he appeared, especially when angry. She caught his mace straight in the chest, and the blow sent her to the ground this time, even making her drop her weapon. Suddenly, it wasn't looking so good for her. She rolled out of the way of a chop that dented the stage, and brought her foot up into his crotch. No matter how much aura protection anyone has, that's painful. Cardin dropped his weapon to clutch his bruised pride, and she took the opportunity to drive her knee into his nose. This final blow brought him just into the red zone, and won her the match. Cardin took his thoroughly humiliated seat in the stands while Sierra walked off to await her next fight.

_**§SS§**_

In the next stages, many were eliminated. Even Toad fell, to a pretty young woman with a sword that looked suspiciously like half a pair of scissors, who in turn fell when she fought a man with a three-bladed knife to a draw. Even Sierra was defeated, by a quick-witted dust user.

Eventually, it came down to Elwood and a mysterious masked-and-cloaked man who'd won his way up to the final round with nothing but a little black pistol and a long, thin knife.

Neither said a word. When the fight began, the mystery man opened up with his gun, placing several rounds in Elwood's chest, and, before the former rich boy knew it, he was being attacked with the knife.

This strange figure was fast, very fast, And Elwood struggled to stay out of the blade's way, while the anonymous fighter left no openings. Eventually, Elwood saw an opportunity. He jumped back, and let off a blast with his shotgun. The slug turned out to be explosive, and it distracted his opponent long enough for him to switch to axe form and give his powerful adversary a swipe across the face, driving his aura halfway through the yellow zone.

The masked man took advantage of the closeness and drove his thin knife into Elwood's aura seven times, pushing his bar down to a similar level. The ground was even once more. And then, it wasn't. The thin knife swiped across Elwood's face, driving his aura very close to red. Taking a gamble, the Agani heir made one last desperate move. He switched to gun form, drove the muzzle of his weapon into the masked man's guts, and fired.

The resultant explosion knocked them both down, and put both their auras in the red. The audience- surprisingly large for an amateur tournament- gasped and began whispering, as did the panel of judges. Moments later, the announcement was made.

"The winner is Elwood Agani!"

The audience cheered, and the announcer stepped on stage to speak. "Now, you have two options, victor! You can take your prize money and go home. Or you can trade ninety percent of it for the mystery box!"

In the stands, the rest of AGES facepalmed.

"Well, what's in the mystery box?" Elwood asked curiously.

"If we told you, it wouldn't be a mystery box! Now take your pick, winner!"

Elwood considered briefly. "I'll take the mystery box."

The host handed him a small piece of paper that told him what was in the box. Elwood smiled with glee.

_**§SS§**_

"So," Alex said later as they were returning to the dorms, "what was in the mystery box?"

"One hundred and forty jars of mayonnaise!" Elwood declared proudly. "Isn't that great?"

Gilligan's jaw dropped. "You basically bought a hundred and forty jars of mayonnaise for ninety thousand lein. You. Moron."

Sierra was crying in frustration while Alex patted her back. "Well," the spearman said, "looks like we're buying a fridge."

"What."

"No."

"Yes! We're not letting mayonnaise go to waste!"

"You say that as if we'll ever use it!" Sierra protested. "When the fuck are we going to need one hundred and forty jars of mayonnaise?"

"You never know!" Alex said.

"That kind of attitude is what turned my grandfather into a hoarder," murmured Gilligan. "You're not hoarding mayonnaise in the dorm."

"We should still get the fridge," Elwood pointed out. "Might be nice, not having to hit the cafeteria whenever we want food. Besides, the cafeteria isn't even always open."

"He's got a point," Gilligan conceded. "Besides, it's technically his money."

Alex and Sierra grumbled discontented assent, and the team went to buy a fridge for their dorm.

_**§SS§**_

_**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed that. Anyone who spots references gets a cookie, yadda yadda. Review me!**_


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